Woke up at 7:30 again feeling utterly, totally AMAZING! Like I don't even know the last time I felt this way! Years probably, at least ten years and then who knows. I have been divorced ten years, and as I am looking back, it was a struggle. I struggled financially to stay alive, hurting my body along the way by not listening. Well, no more of that! I am now putting myself totally first, thanks to Teal Swan! I stayed in again today, like somehow I innately knew, and savored my energy, wanting to keep if for myself. I cleansed my room more, hung out around the house, just taking it easy. Cleaning and cleansing is definitely my theme since I have been home.
I wanted to see my son, so we went out to lunch. He knows about Teal Swan because he is very open to spirituality and I have talked about her before. When he was an infant, he had alot of trouble falling asleep at night, so I would take him outside and he would stare at the moon and fall asleep! He still loves the moon. At age seven he decided to be a vegan like I was, but after my ex family getting on his case for being too thin and needing the meat, he started eating it again. He also could see the Aura around someone as a young child. We talked all about Teal's Workshop, and our energy together was amazing. We always were very close, very connected and still are. I could tell he was happy to see me happy, excited and passionate about something. I asked him to take a road trip with me to Boston in August, so I can attend Teal's next workshop and he said sure!! He is going to bring his friend also that I love. I also asked my daughters as well, but they had no desire to see Boston. The Universe already knows what would benefit me more, having my son come along and not the girls. I am excited and thrilled to have him and his friend join me on this adventure, as I know it will be another life changing one!
I came home still feeling so high, high like I was literally floating, not in myself, foggy. It's hard to explain, but I just keep going with it!! So, I am doing just what Teal said to do, have fun, relax, take care of myself and diving down deep straight into those emotions.I decided to watch the video again, and I had a major breakdown. I tried to view it earlier, but the link would not work! I kept saying that I was not ready to see it yet and that's okay. It was pretty heavy to see myself talking with my Spiritual Leader and mentor, spilling my pain and past to her. But, it was very enlightening, so many things clicked when I watched it. I truly saw how much resistance I had to the pain, "just wanting to heal". Teal explained on stage to me that I need to just feel the pain, just sit with it, be with it, and it will eventually integrate and go away. I have been working on this all week, when pain arises, I ask my pain where it is from and I get more visions, I dive into those emotions and see what they are about, and deal with them. My new mantra is, "I am here with you now"! (from Teal) When I say this to my emotions and inner child it really resonates with me and comforts me, so I use it all the time. She explains how we abandon ourselves in the trauma and pain as a child, and we feel it. We need to comfort that child, care for it and talk to it in any way that comforts us. I have been working on this daily, it just seems to come.
I am so happy and blessed with my new awakening, and my new connection with a very old friend, who I have been waiting to see and come back to in this life. I will never be the same, things will never be the same, my life will never be the same, and the ones I touch will now be with an open heart of love and compassion!
Namaste
Carol
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