Monday ~ Day 28

Hello ~
I am on my way to go see a Shaman this morning, to talk about Soul Retrieval work.  This is work where you bring back pieces of your soul, pieces that split and left you due to the pain and suffering of some type of childhood trauma.  It is also similar to "Inner Child" work taught by many psychologists.  In this process you go back to your past trauma, and talk to that child, and comfort that child.  Once this is accomplished, you have "integrated" the past trauma into the now, and the pain and suffering disappears, along with physical pain, and raising your vibration to new beginnings.  This meeting though, was just to talk about me doing soul retrieval work.  I was really excited and somewhat nervous, and put on a cute flowing summer dress, with orange and earth Aztec print.  I felt good. 
When I arrived I had no idea what to expect.  The door opened up to this beautiful soul with green eyes, shorter than I, with light hair to her chin.  We talked easily about my path, the inner child work I have been doing, Teal Swan (I kept telling her about everything she has taught me!), and I brought up my abuse and how I miss my ex.  We worked on my pain in my neck and entire back, and she asked the pain, "what do you want to tell me"?  And I heard my mothers voice yelling at me, telling me how I can't do anything, can't do anything right, and not to count my chickens before they are hatched.  I explained this to her, then more visions appeared from the past.  I felt I blamed myself for things, thinking there was a way I could have stopped it.  She helped me work though that explaining I was a helpless child, and that your existence is based on your parents love.  She explained I did nothing wrong, and nothing was my fault.  What a Shaman can do is help you work through your problems by feeling the emotions, but they are there for support in the physical and in spirit, and help hold you in a higher place of love to help heal your body and soul.  The blame thing, wow, I have been blaming myself for things for a long time, no more though, now I know.  And guilt, this explains why I have always carried so much blame and guilt around on my shoulders, because I literally have felt that way, always blaming a situation on myself, and feeling so guilty about it for years and years.  Now I see how stuck that kept me, not allowing me to move forward.  Even with my ex husband, I blamed myself so much, for many mistakes I made with money after I was divorced I blamed myself forever.  It's a terrible feeling to feel guilty over the past, and blame yourself, and I did that for so long.  And I have also blamed my children for so many things when I could not take responsibility for my own behavior.  I am glad I am no longer in that place, and am learning much more about myself, and why I do the things I do.  Then, I can address those feelings so they can integrate and help me to become one, which helps all of us in our "oneness".  Remember, always remember, we are one, we are connected, always and forever, and we are all on a beautiful journey together, so let's try to make the most of it!  
I love you ~ Namaste ~