Wow, this is totally epic. Anyone needing to progress on their journey, this is like a nice big push ahead! I just left my second appointment at the Shaman. What happened is magical. We talked about my ego, being so strong causing me such bad pain in my neck and head that I couldn't even get to my second appointment. I know now what the ego is, fear and worry! It survives on it, and actually since I saw Teal in Chicago in June, it has calmed down in my life. Just automatically, all on its own, like it knows the secret that we will all be cared for if we follow the flow. The ego does not want us to live in the present moment in joy, it wants us to remember the pain of the past. Wow, I never knew all those years and suffering that was my "ego" talking to me. Now I hear my Spirit Guides all the time, the voices of unconditional love and abundance for me, you, and everyone in this Universe!
She asked me what feelings am I having a tough time with now, and I explained to her how I have been feeling about missing my ex husband so much again lately, and on and off for ten years. She asked me what I missed about him. I explained to her I felt lonely a lot, even though I have a lot of loved ones around me. Feelings of loneliness and being unloved, and being disconnected from someone. Then she said, "What if that love you felt with him was only a small portion of the love that is there in the Universe, could you imagine that"? She asked. Wow, man, I remember Teal mentioning this in one of her own videos, what if there was so much more love than we have ever felt? Well, there is. I was truly excited when she told me this, It's like, "wow, how awesome is that?" "I would love to experience that", I said to myself. She explained I have a lot of work to do (meaning trauma), so it could take time. She explained it like an onion, peeling off one layer at a time. She explained to ask the Universe to help me change, to help me to understand, and it will show me as long as I am open to it. She said this experience can be life changing, it's just up to me as to how I want to use it. I felt like I wanted to jump up and down for joy, feeling truly ready and excited!
She explained she wanted to smudge me first. This process helps to cleanse your energy, it's like when I sage at home weekly to cleanse the energy in my home. Then she pulled out a beautiful bag filled with stones and asked me to pick one. The Shaman explained the stone has it's own intelligence and it is from mother earth and it can help us to feel the universal love. Much larger then the love for any man. She told me to use my breath to make a connection to whatever is blocking my heart from making that connection to the Universal love from mother earth. To tap into that loneliness I feel and my feelings of being unloved, which was easy to do because I have felt this pain for at least ten years, after my divorce. So, with those intentions, I blew deeply into the stone three times.
She then took the stone and laid me down. She told me she was opening up her eighth chakra to have the Peruvian Spirits to help us as well. She asked to place both hands under my back upper and lower, and we stayed there for awhile. I was totally in the moment and meditating while she was doing this. She explained that this is called the jaguar out of the trees. She told me to relax in her hands, and explained that she was going to scan my body to see which chakra was closed the most, and heal that one. She did this with a nice sounding rattle, shaking it over my body. My root chakra was closed, so she placed the stone on it and worked on opening it up with the same rattle, shaking it over my root chakra. Then she took a drum and started beating it, and told me to breathe in through my nose, and out through my mouth, releasing the pain that no longer serves me. She also placed her hands under my neck and I did the same thing, kept consciously breathing. She would repeat words offering me to, "let go of what does not serve me", and I repeated them in my thoughts.
Then, she told me she has a soul that would like to come back! Tears innately started to roll down my cheeks, wow, yes! "Thank you", I said to myself, to her, thank you for coming back. She asked me if I wanted her to come back, I said yes, absolutely. So I sat up, she blew into my forehead for about three times, really hard, then put both of her hands on top of my head even harder and held it there for awhile as if she was trying to keep her there, so she couldn't come out! It was as if she was plugging her in!
Then she told me all about her, my inner child, my little girl. She said she was about six years old, she was happy playing outside in the "forest", but she was lonely, but happy in the forest with the fairies. She is from the forest, knows the forest, and can teach me many things about the forest and the fairies. She wants me to go to the forest and sit around a tree for awhile, with my face toward it, hugging it, and to put my forehead on it as well. The tree will talk to me, so I need to listen to it, along with my little girl. The Shaman said she has so much to teach me about the forest, and along with her, we will teach each other, the three of us, like a triangle. She knows the ways of the forest.
She also brings a gift with her, a clock, a brass clock from the sea. So, the sea will teach me lessons as well. These were all the things she told me. She explained my little girl stayed away because she was afraid, but the Shaman assured her it was safe, that it would be okay. What happened was a very long time ago, and many years has passed since. We had a contract together which is old and void now, and need to make another one. The Shaman explained that now I should talk to the little girl all the time, ask her what she wants, tell her about your life because she doesn't know. Tell her about the things you like and want to do. Treat her like a new best friend, I said to myself. Wow! This is mind blowing to me. She said the little girl was alone, sad to be alone, and now she is home. Home with me, and I will absolutely take good care of her.
The Shaman stated this could cause major changes in my life if I allowed it to. She reminded me to make sure I talk to her, take care of her, each and every day. We both have things to teach each other, she said. She came from the forest with the fairies, she is from the forest! I told her I was thinking of taking a trip alone for a few days to a campsite on the Delaware, she thought it would be a good idea.
The Shaman explained the soul leaves because if it did stay it would die due to the pain it is suffering, so we send it away to be safe. She said that sometimes you can not bring your soul back, because the trauma was so bad, you were the one that sent them away, and can not bring them back. I understand what she is explaining, this is such new information for me. I thought we could retrieve our souls back by ourselves, so if we can not, this is new information to me.
As soon as my little girl jumped into my heart, the Shaman spoke many words. Among the she told me, "She knows how to connect with mother earth, she is from the forest. You need her, you need her information. She left because it was not safe. She knows it is safe to come home now. Ask her what she wants to teach you. Talk to her all day, bring her up to date about your life, she has been gone a long time. Show her the earth outside, go to the forest and sit near a tree and talk to her. Take care of her like she is a new child in your life because she is." Then the Shaman and I started crying.
After the Ceremony was finished I sat up, the Shaman told me I did great, and we hugged for such a long time, with me thanking her. Holding her hands I expressed my gratitude for her helping me along this sacred ceremony. She explained how honored she was to be part of this experience and of course wished me luck. She also wanted me to keep in touch and let her know my progress. She explained some more things to me about the Soul Retrieval Ceremony. She explained that since my rood chakra was blocked, it blocked my sense of security. We spoke about passion and how passionate I am, and she explained that my passion will have more depth, now that my chakra is open it will ground my passion, making it easier to accomplish what I want to here on earth. I explained how I feel I am in two worlds, she said opening my root chakra will help me ground here on this earth more, allowing me to accomplish what I want to. The passion will be more grounding. She also explained about my little girl who came back, and explained as I work with her, she will change everything, this could change my life if I allowed it to. As soon as my root chakra was cleared, she appeared to the Shaman. I asked if I should name her, and she said maybe she will tell you her name, and as I left and walked to my car, the name Kady popped into my head. Kady was a beautiful, happy young soul I met at a Teal Swan Workshop.
I asked the Shaman about doing your own Soul Retrieval work, because I have been learning about inner child work, something I have been doing for weeks now. The Shaman explained that sometimes you can not do it yourself, I could not have because the trauma was so bad, I sent her away myself, because the frequency from her was in danger, and would have died if she stayed. So, since I sent her away because I was protecting her energy, I could not bring her back. She can make huge changes in my life if I allow her to and speak to her all the time. The Shaman also explained that she was very happy to come back, and not all souls are even willing to come back. So, I am happy!
Wow, as I left, I felt so close to this Shaman it was amazing. My gratitude for her is beyond words. What she has already done for me today, is already life changing, I feel it. I feel my little girl in my heart space, opening it up 100 times more! I walked to my car so happy and joyous, feeling so much love in my heart I could not contain it! I spoke to my little girl and told her I will do anything to keep her happy, and I will tell her everything up to date, and talk to her all the time until she does integrate. But, I already felt as if she did, she is already here with me inside, deep inside my heart, I am her and she is me, and I am so glad she is home!
With Love and Light to all! <3
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