VALENTINE'S DAY!

So, this Valentine's Day is very different for me, after attending a Workshop run by Teal Swan, and being single, I realize this day is about pure love, self love, because without that, we have nothing!  Without that, we allow others to hurt us, even abuse us.  When I look back at my life of pain and suffering, I realize how I allowed this to happen in my life.  I lived with my husband for thirty years before I had the strength to let go, and realized  I did not want the yelling, arguing, and insults any longer.    I read a saying once, something about the day you leave an unhealthy relationship, is the day you realize you deserve to be treated better, coming back to a place of self love.  But, that is not always so easy after a lifetime of pain that many of us seem to have had.  So they say, growing up with a lot of conflict in the home, I attracted that same conflict with my ex, due to our energy, our vibrations.  Of course I did not know this at the time, and maybe that's why I am still single after ten years.  Just waiting to be in a higher vibration, so I can attract the man of my dreams, the man I want to be with the rest of my lifetime here on earth. When I look back, most of the men I was with after being married, all had their own way of being critical and insulting, and I still liked them!  So, I am glad I took a few years break, to attract someone more loving, and positive, someone who wants to shower me with love, kind words, and affection.  Although my husband and I were very affectionate with each other, and I am grateful for that.  

But, I am learning self love, and it is a process.  A process to look inside and ask myself, "what do I want to do?" It's about stepping back before answering, and not to instantly say "yes" to everyone who wants something from me.  I have done that my entire life, especially with my three children while being a single mom.   It's about realizing what do I really want to do for myself besides pleasing everyone else.  And that comes with saying "no" sometimes, and not doing things just for them!  I wanted to care for everyone like I did, but now it's time to take care of myself.  My health is suffering, and I have ignored my pain for thirty years, always going to keep up.  My body can not care for anyone else right now, it wants love from me, to stop and care for it, which is what I have finally started to do.  It starts with allowing others to chip in and do their share, and anyway, they are totally capable of doing it.  Maybe it's time they want to prove that to themselves, that they can do it and care for themselves!  I love it this new self, instead of feeling responsible for everyone else's wants and needs, I no longer do!  I give them the ultimate responsibility for caring for themselves and they love it!  My children have embraced it, actually telling me the past year, they no longer need me to do things for them!  It was hard to accept at first, but now I hear them clearly and am on my way!  My new journey of love, loving myself, and creating my dream future! Here I go,  much love to all always!
Amen