Hello
I woke up today at 6:00 am, like I have been the past few days. Didn't want to get out of bed that early so I was meditating in bed. I woke up out of a dream of my ex husband. There was a huge dinner table with our families there, and his wife was there and they wanted me to sit down at the table. I told my best friend, I couldn't do it, I couldn't sit at the table with his wife, in tears! Omg, what a dream. This is because he showed up in a Shamanic Journey yesterday. And, my attorney sent me a letter from his attorney about the child support he owes me for my daughter. She left school in 2010, and I paid him child support until August of 2012. I have had many dreams about him before, even dreams laying next to each other, maybe we are together in soul time, dream time, for real though because our dreams are.
I had to mow the lawn like two weeks ago, so did it this morning! Yay! I even watered Mother earth after that, and we left it on for hours forgetting to turn it off! She must have been very happy!
I ran errands with my daughter today, we haven't done that for awhile, we use to do it all the time, especially before my other daughter moved in. When she goes into that "chain of pain", (where she focuses on all the negativity around her that makes her feel "bad"), I totally change the subject now, and turn it into a chain of "joy", by finding things to be grateful for that make me feel "good". When I came home from Teal's workshop in June, I couldn't even be around my two daughters, our energies were so extreme, I ran out of the room when they came in! I truly am learning how to take care of myself now. Love myself, know myself, and act upon it. I normally would have never acted this way, too worried they were mad, why, etc. Now, I don't give it one thought, my body runs! No conflict, no arguing, I just walk away and sage the home more frequently.
I am thrilled and happy still again today, feeling so loved and so complete in my soul. I talk to my little girl all the time, telling her things and asking her what she want's to tell me, and she told me she wants me to go to the forest and sit by a tree. So, I will do that for her tomorrow or Wednesday. I hear her talk back to me, and I tell her I love her and thank her all the time still. Now when I meditate, I call in my new guides, wolf an Unicorn, welcome! I am so thrilled I have found them! It's funny, these are the two animals I have resonated with and loved my entire life. My best friend of thirty years ago needle pointed me a picture of a Unicorn, and I have it on my mantel! And wolf I have always loved, and that is why I love the huskies! They both rubbed their face on my face when we met, it was beautiful.
Tomorrow is my beach day!! Yay, didn't get there this weekend, because it was cloudy, chilly, and rainy! So I am psyched, and I'll be tan for my trip!
I had a BBQ for the kids for dinner, and Johnny came by to eat. It is always great to see him, I love him so much too! I bought him an elephant made from stone, but it had six elephants in a row, from larger to smaller. He loves elephants, has an elephant tattoo, and it is made of stone, and I am turning him onto the miracles of these stones and crystals. He is so into it, I love it! But, he has always been attracted to and connected to rocks, he has been finding me heart rocks since he was a small child, like even five years old! It use to melt my heart, he still does. I use to have all the heart shaped rocks he found or made me, on a table in my small foyer when I lived in Maywood, but now they are all gone. Moving so many times is so sad, you let go of so many things, too many.
I am almost all packed, I had an oil change and a car wash today, I have new long flowing, colorful hippie dresses to wear, I am ready, lets go. The sad thing is, it is going to be gone so fast, and then I will only have memories. But, aha, aren't memories better than the anticipation? Absolutely! I think I am going to be so nervous I am going to have to breathe and not faint!
I am on my way to bed, its 1:00 am. I am happy, I am loved, I am at peace. I hope the intense roller coaster ride I have been on is slowing down. I asked my Shaman when I saw her if this feeling of so much love in my heart will stay, and she said, Oh yeah, it gets better each day! I am grateful either way for where I am today. It is perfect and so are you!
Namaste
Carol
No comments:
Post a Comment