Namaste
It's a rainy day today and I realize so much how the weather affects me. It's like I feel bummed, Ho Hum. But, I have done a lot of healing work today, working on past emotions, crying over my ex, missing him and don't know why. So, it gave me the opportunity to go back to my childhood and see where this feeling is from, and I realize I felt very abandoned by my mother, like when I was young and she wasn't around due to having other babies and being in the hospital. It left me with a sense of abandonment. Teal just made a video about finding our "core imprint", which is the worst pain you felt as a child. Then, take that exact opposite, and that is your, "life purpose". Hmm, vey interesting I say. Okay, I can go with that, and at first I had feelings of loneliness, then realized it was deeper, like abandonment. In this process we should not make a quick judgment, take your time and let your feelings arise. So, I won't put a label on it yet, I will see what emerges. My body now is in a state of total allowing, and it knows exactly what steps to take and where, when I am ready. As in releasing, and integrating those painful memories. Most of my painful thoughts from childhood seem to come when I am driving, or cleaning. I try to deal with them when they arise, then let them go.
I have also shed a lot of tears over my ex today, thinking of him because of his birthday yesterday, and just crying over missing him. Thinking of things we have done together in the past, etc. It makes me sad to know I still have pain over not being with him. I have learned to go back further with those feelings, back to childhood, and see where they truly emerge from. I don't understand why I feel such a sense of loss with my ex, even if the root cause is from childhood. I am sad today, I feel so much loss and loneliness again, but I will work through it and integrate these feelings, to bring me back to my entire self, my whole self, oneness.
I love you, everyone go shine your light as bright as you can! And maybe deal with those triggers when they come up, go inside and see where they really came from, cry, release, and maybe that is when you will be set free. And the world will become a better place, thanks to each and every one of us.
Namaste
Friday, July 18, 2014
Day 19 ~ Saturday
Hello all ~
Wow, as I look at the change in my life since I have been back from Chicago, it's major. Staying home and not working now has opened my eyes to so many things I never saw before. It has given me faith in the Universe, faith to know "it is okay". It will be okay because I love you so much, I will do anything for you to become whole. Becoming whole means going back to that childhood pain, sitting with that pain, acknowledging that pain, and comforting that child in any way to make it feel better. I love to repeat, "I am here with you now". Because of that pain, we abandon ourselves, but we need to become whole. To become more aware, more enlightened, to come to that place of oneness, it all begins inside our heart. I know for some of you, this can be really painful in thought, but when you allow your feelings to go to the place of pain, and release those emotions, it becomes easier, the struggle is over, and instead of resisting you are allowing. Allowing your feelings to come through, just being with that pain and sadness. Teal told me I was afraid to feel, even though I cried many years over my divorce and my children. But, those tears were one of "sorrow", feeling sorry for myself, crying, "why me"? For years I did this, and finding information like "the law of attraction", helped me to watch what I focused on, and helped get me out of that pit I was in.
I still have so many questions about why some things in my life turned out as they did, but when the time is right, the answer will appear. I have no doubt in my mind anymore how awesome this Universe works, because I see it happening in my life now, and in the lives of the other old souls I am currently reconnecting with, how easy it is to manifest! It's as easy as just thinking it, believing it, and so it is! Wow, I love this way of thinking, it's like a relief, a big, huge relief off of my back and now I can breathe. I do not have to be a prisoner any longer and live in "fear and worry" any longer now that I know. And I want all of you to know the same thing, we are here to find our joy, and live in a state of abundance. We were born pure light and love and will return to that state each time one of us becomes more whole. It is a chain reaction, we are all part of that same change, what happens to one happens to the rest, for sure. Teal said so many powerful things to me that day, and one of them was, "all you have to do is take care of yourself, see how easy that is"? If we all just took care of ourselves, showered ourselves with love, do the appropriate work to grow, then this world will be the place I have always dreamt it would be, one of peace, love and harmony, all souls joined together as one! What a breathe of fresh air! I want you to remember, "We can do it, We are the Change"! Don't ever forget that. Teal, Sarbdeep and Blake, along with many other Spiritual Leaders are part of that change, and I am so proud to be part of that movement! So much Love and Gratitude I have for them, and for my new life! I wake up every day feeling so blessed about my new journey along, and feel so proud of myself for taking this path, and following what my heart and guides were telling me for years. I take it easy, today I stayed around the house all day, working on my garden, my plants, watching "Teal" videos, catching up with computer work, it was a joyous day! I am so grateful to be able to stay home and just be, be in my heart, and be in my pain. When I feel serious pain in my body, I try to stop and rest, and ask my pain where it is from. I will keep doing this until I get answers. I keep getting new visions from my past childhood pain, but they are ones I did remember at some point, but totally forgot about. So, I know my body is in the process of releasing these emotions all by itself, it wants to let them go, so they can integrate with me now, and help me to become one, become whole again! Sounds like a beautiful reward, doesn't it? For each of us to become whole in Bliss! I can't wait, and if I am this joyful in my life already, I can't wait to see where it will bring me. But, I am not resistant to the now, to where I am, the pain I am in, and Teal said that was important. That is why I have put myself, and my body first, before anyone else. This is my time to heal!
Namaste ~
Wow, as I look at the change in my life since I have been back from Chicago, it's major. Staying home and not working now has opened my eyes to so many things I never saw before. It has given me faith in the Universe, faith to know "it is okay". It will be okay because I love you so much, I will do anything for you to become whole. Becoming whole means going back to that childhood pain, sitting with that pain, acknowledging that pain, and comforting that child in any way to make it feel better. I love to repeat, "I am here with you now". Because of that pain, we abandon ourselves, but we need to become whole. To become more aware, more enlightened, to come to that place of oneness, it all begins inside our heart. I know for some of you, this can be really painful in thought, but when you allow your feelings to go to the place of pain, and release those emotions, it becomes easier, the struggle is over, and instead of resisting you are allowing. Allowing your feelings to come through, just being with that pain and sadness. Teal told me I was afraid to feel, even though I cried many years over my divorce and my children. But, those tears were one of "sorrow", feeling sorry for myself, crying, "why me"? For years I did this, and finding information like "the law of attraction", helped me to watch what I focused on, and helped get me out of that pit I was in.
I still have so many questions about why some things in my life turned out as they did, but when the time is right, the answer will appear. I have no doubt in my mind anymore how awesome this Universe works, because I see it happening in my life now, and in the lives of the other old souls I am currently reconnecting with, how easy it is to manifest! It's as easy as just thinking it, believing it, and so it is! Wow, I love this way of thinking, it's like a relief, a big, huge relief off of my back and now I can breathe. I do not have to be a prisoner any longer and live in "fear and worry" any longer now that I know. And I want all of you to know the same thing, we are here to find our joy, and live in a state of abundance. We were born pure light and love and will return to that state each time one of us becomes more whole. It is a chain reaction, we are all part of that same change, what happens to one happens to the rest, for sure. Teal said so many powerful things to me that day, and one of them was, "all you have to do is take care of yourself, see how easy that is"? If we all just took care of ourselves, showered ourselves with love, do the appropriate work to grow, then this world will be the place I have always dreamt it would be, one of peace, love and harmony, all souls joined together as one! What a breathe of fresh air! I want you to remember, "We can do it, We are the Change"! Don't ever forget that. Teal, Sarbdeep and Blake, along with many other Spiritual Leaders are part of that change, and I am so proud to be part of that movement! So much Love and Gratitude I have for them, and for my new life! I wake up every day feeling so blessed about my new journey along, and feel so proud of myself for taking this path, and following what my heart and guides were telling me for years. I take it easy, today I stayed around the house all day, working on my garden, my plants, watching "Teal" videos, catching up with computer work, it was a joyous day! I am so grateful to be able to stay home and just be, be in my heart, and be in my pain. When I feel serious pain in my body, I try to stop and rest, and ask my pain where it is from. I will keep doing this until I get answers. I keep getting new visions from my past childhood pain, but they are ones I did remember at some point, but totally forgot about. So, I know my body is in the process of releasing these emotions all by itself, it wants to let them go, so they can integrate with me now, and help me to become one, become whole again! Sounds like a beautiful reward, doesn't it? For each of us to become whole in Bliss! I can't wait, and if I am this joyful in my life already, I can't wait to see where it will bring me. But, I am not resistant to the now, to where I am, the pain I am in, and Teal said that was important. That is why I have put myself, and my body first, before anyone else. This is my time to heal!
Namaste ~
Tuesday ~ Day 22
Namaste ~
So, I wake up today out of sorts again. I feel so confused about life, what it's all about and how I am living it. I should be putting more time into watching any information about Teal, and doing my work, but sometimes I want to do nothing, so I do. I am wondering today where all of this will lead me, and of course where the money is going to come from to pay for rent and the bills. The money can come from many sources, and anyone can help if they wish. I have enough funds to pay rent here for a few more months. I feel it is time for me to rest, rest and be at peace with myself and my life, no more worries, no more regrets, no more crying over the past with my ex and all the bad decisions I made after my divorce.
It seems like everything was a painful mess, if it was all meant to just bring me back to myself, back to my childhood pain, then I don't get it. It almost seems unfair to mess everyone's life up, for the sake of "becoming whole, becoming one" with yourself. So many lives were hurt by this, I don't understand why my kids had to suffer so much through all of this as well. Why would they chose to come into a life like this, with parents like us, just to suffer again. That suffering thing, I remember Teal breaking down in tears when she spoke about "suffering", and how wonderful life would be without suffering, so beautiful she cried about it! Wow, there is no one like her out there that I know, she is so human, your friend because of the pain she has suffered, but so enlightened and advance I have no clue how she does what she does! I am just grateful to finally have come home. Home to someone who understands the pain I have been in, home to someone who has unconditional love for humanity and truly will make a change, someone who speaks their truth and wants you to speak yours, and someone who tells you that it is okay to be where you are and you are loved just where you are. Her words were powerful to me when she spoke of, "just taking care of yourself", that's all I had to do. Not to worry about everyone else, just take care of me, and let them be. I have never lived my life this way, always being a caretaker of my nieces and nephews, my family, then my three children. Now I have broken free, free of doing for others all the time. I realized when I nanny, I give so much of myself because I love to give, especially to the children, but I don't know how to not give all my energy away. It seems to leave me drained. There should be a way this shouldn't affect me, a way I can keep my energy up, and just giving to them as well. It is total freedom for me right now to know I no longer have to give myself away like that any longer.
I hope I have changed my mind and life about money. Teal and Sarbdeep just made a video about money and abundance and it was awesome. A point also came up about abundance, not limiting your thinking of it just coming through money, it can come in many other ways. Like someone leaving me a lake front house because they wanted to! Yes, it really opened me up to realizing there are so many other ways to manifest things than just with money! Yay, what a huge awakening I had!
I am going to spend the day with my nieces and their boys at a Dinosaur event today, I am so excited, I absolutely love to see my family, especially the little ones, they fill my heart with so much love and joy! I will check in tonite! Have an awesome day!
Namaste
So, I wake up today out of sorts again. I feel so confused about life, what it's all about and how I am living it. I should be putting more time into watching any information about Teal, and doing my work, but sometimes I want to do nothing, so I do. I am wondering today where all of this will lead me, and of course where the money is going to come from to pay for rent and the bills. The money can come from many sources, and anyone can help if they wish. I have enough funds to pay rent here for a few more months. I feel it is time for me to rest, rest and be at peace with myself and my life, no more worries, no more regrets, no more crying over the past with my ex and all the bad decisions I made after my divorce.
It seems like everything was a painful mess, if it was all meant to just bring me back to myself, back to my childhood pain, then I don't get it. It almost seems unfair to mess everyone's life up, for the sake of "becoming whole, becoming one" with yourself. So many lives were hurt by this, I don't understand why my kids had to suffer so much through all of this as well. Why would they chose to come into a life like this, with parents like us, just to suffer again. That suffering thing, I remember Teal breaking down in tears when she spoke about "suffering", and how wonderful life would be without suffering, so beautiful she cried about it! Wow, there is no one like her out there that I know, she is so human, your friend because of the pain she has suffered, but so enlightened and advance I have no clue how she does what she does! I am just grateful to finally have come home. Home to someone who understands the pain I have been in, home to someone who has unconditional love for humanity and truly will make a change, someone who speaks their truth and wants you to speak yours, and someone who tells you that it is okay to be where you are and you are loved just where you are. Her words were powerful to me when she spoke of, "just taking care of yourself", that's all I had to do. Not to worry about everyone else, just take care of me, and let them be. I have never lived my life this way, always being a caretaker of my nieces and nephews, my family, then my three children. Now I have broken free, free of doing for others all the time. I realized when I nanny, I give so much of myself because I love to give, especially to the children, but I don't know how to not give all my energy away. It seems to leave me drained. There should be a way this shouldn't affect me, a way I can keep my energy up, and just giving to them as well. It is total freedom for me right now to know I no longer have to give myself away like that any longer.
I hope I have changed my mind and life about money. Teal and Sarbdeep just made a video about money and abundance and it was awesome. A point also came up about abundance, not limiting your thinking of it just coming through money, it can come in many other ways. Like someone leaving me a lake front house because they wanted to! Yes, it really opened me up to realizing there are so many other ways to manifest things than just with money! Yay, what a huge awakening I had!
I am going to spend the day with my nieces and their boys at a Dinosaur event today, I am so excited, I absolutely love to see my family, especially the little ones, they fill my heart with so much love and joy! I will check in tonite! Have an awesome day!
Namaste
Monday ~ Day 21
Hello
I woke up today in so much pain, and didn't get out of bed until 9:30, which is so weird because I have been getting up a lot around 7:30. So, I just laid around all day. Took my time relaxing, reading, cooking and eating. I was grateful to be able to lay around and take care of my body today, if that is what it needed, and it was. But, as I meditated this morning, I went back to my childhood, when I was a year old and my mother went in the hospital to have my brother, I have no idea who took care of me, but felt abandoned. That feeling of being abandoned, like my connection of energy was cut off, was the feeling I kept getting when I was with a guy and he left. I would cry for months, feeling so cut off from my energy supply, alone and abandoned. I have also felt this way on and off for years about my ex husband, my children, and my family. When I was at the workshop, Teal did say I had many more things happen to me that I did not remember. I am waiting for an appointment with a Shaman, and can't wait. She will do soul retrieval work, and explained to me that it is serious work, and how you need to be prepared when parts of your soul returns, it could be very powerful. Okay, I am ready, I can't wait. I would love to progress quickly with easy lessons to learn from. Along with awesome, wonderful soul friends, to hang out with, have fun with, and create abundance with. I did find a Shaman to help with this process, and finally have an appointment with her on Monday, I can't wait. This has been an awesome journey since I have left Chicago, four weeks ago, I have come back renewed, refreshed, but with sooo much inner healing work to do!
It's my ex's birthday today, and I realize how much love I had and still have for him, and how I miss him, and see him in my eyes very well still. He was blessed with a little girl over a year ago, and is a proud father. I truly hope he enjoys her, and I realize the blessings she is sending him each and every day. Sometimes I wish it was me, with him and the baby, I don't know why these feelings come to me, but they do. I don't know why I still feel so attached to him sometimes. I thought he was gone, out of my head, but looks like he is not. I feel I have known him forever, in many other lifetimes, and we are here to reunite. To be able to at least be friendly to each other and talk, and have a relationship. It will be interesting to see what happens between him and I. He has not been able to talk to me for years, he has told the children years ago he wants nothing to do with me.
It has been raining all day, I have been tired and sleepy all day, and I am going to bed!
Goodnight, Namaste
I woke up today in so much pain, and didn't get out of bed until 9:30, which is so weird because I have been getting up a lot around 7:30. So, I just laid around all day. Took my time relaxing, reading, cooking and eating. I was grateful to be able to lay around and take care of my body today, if that is what it needed, and it was. But, as I meditated this morning, I went back to my childhood, when I was a year old and my mother went in the hospital to have my brother, I have no idea who took care of me, but felt abandoned. That feeling of being abandoned, like my connection of energy was cut off, was the feeling I kept getting when I was with a guy and he left. I would cry for months, feeling so cut off from my energy supply, alone and abandoned. I have also felt this way on and off for years about my ex husband, my children, and my family. When I was at the workshop, Teal did say I had many more things happen to me that I did not remember. I am waiting for an appointment with a Shaman, and can't wait. She will do soul retrieval work, and explained to me that it is serious work, and how you need to be prepared when parts of your soul returns, it could be very powerful. Okay, I am ready, I can't wait. I would love to progress quickly with easy lessons to learn from. Along with awesome, wonderful soul friends, to hang out with, have fun with, and create abundance with. I did find a Shaman to help with this process, and finally have an appointment with her on Monday, I can't wait. This has been an awesome journey since I have left Chicago, four weeks ago, I have come back renewed, refreshed, but with sooo much inner healing work to do!
It's my ex's birthday today, and I realize how much love I had and still have for him, and how I miss him, and see him in my eyes very well still. He was blessed with a little girl over a year ago, and is a proud father. I truly hope he enjoys her, and I realize the blessings she is sending him each and every day. Sometimes I wish it was me, with him and the baby, I don't know why these feelings come to me, but they do. I don't know why I still feel so attached to him sometimes. I thought he was gone, out of my head, but looks like he is not. I feel I have known him forever, in many other lifetimes, and we are here to reunite. To be able to at least be friendly to each other and talk, and have a relationship. It will be interesting to see what happens between him and I. He has not been able to talk to me for years, he has told the children years ago he wants nothing to do with me.
It has been raining all day, I have been tired and sleepy all day, and I am going to bed!
Goodnight, Namaste
Sunday ~ Day 20
Hello
I had an awesome day today! My niece came into town from Chicago with her husband, and two sons. So her parents, my brother and sister in law, had a BBQ for her, and for family and friends. It was a beautiful day, and I always love to be near my family, and especially the children. My other niece, also has two young boys. My niece and her husband are really calm, laid back people, and they are a pleasure to be around. I had the opportunity to stay with them for the first time in Chicago, when I went to Teal's Workshop. Their kids are great, so cute, and oh my, the older boy has these gorgeous blue eyes! I totally go soft for those blue eyes. My son had them too, so beautiful they were! As he grew older they weren't as crystal blue. They have a pool, and the kids swam. I always enjoy hanging out with the kids, and always have. When my older brothers had children, I always hung out with them at family gatherings, and always went to visit them when they were young. And now my nieces have their own children, and I am a proud GREAT Aunt to nine boys! Ha, not one girl. They are all so precious, and I love spending time with them to see them grow. It's funny how life keeps evolving and evolving with each generation just growing and growing. Something you don't think about when you are young.
So, today was a day just to be free and enjoy myself, and I did. Tomorrow I want to dive back into some Teal videos, like her shadow house 2.0, and the new one she did about finding your pain and life purpose. She's just great, she's always just one step ahead of me and I love it! I can't explain it, but it's like I feel her presence around me often, so much during the day, and it is so beautiful and so comforting to feel. It's like I know everything will be okay now that I found her, and I am back home! I still talk to her all day, sometimes saying, "hello", or "I love you", or "thank you", and I tell her the ideas I receive and the way I am growing and changing.
We are totally, really going to be the change. Thank you Universe for caring and pushing me ahead. I still have so much pain to work out, but it will be just how it should be, right here, right now. Sometimes I feel like I have to stop and really see what's happening, and pinch myself! It's exactly as it should be.
I am helping with the Boston Workshop, and I thought Teal should have flowers all around her, bouquets everywhere. Then, she just came out with a new painting, "Sunflower", and it is amazing! So much energy pops out of the picture its crazy. So, I thought instead of roses, we could put sunflowers all over! I am asking the Universe to provide us with tons of fresh Sunflowers for Teal Swan's Workshop at the Hyatt, in Cambridge, MA on August 9, 2014, and I thank you! And so it is!
I am so excited for this workshop, I sense a total different energy. More calming and peaceful for me for sure, I am thrilled to have my own space at night to sleep and wake up in! But, the cool thing is Blake and Graciela are staying in the Boston House this time. I think it's a first for them, and that in itself is awesome.
Okay, I am turning in for the night. Thank you Universe, for pushing us all to expand, to make this a better place! Namaste
I had an awesome day today! My niece came into town from Chicago with her husband, and two sons. So her parents, my brother and sister in law, had a BBQ for her, and for family and friends. It was a beautiful day, and I always love to be near my family, and especially the children. My other niece, also has two young boys. My niece and her husband are really calm, laid back people, and they are a pleasure to be around. I had the opportunity to stay with them for the first time in Chicago, when I went to Teal's Workshop. Their kids are great, so cute, and oh my, the older boy has these gorgeous blue eyes! I totally go soft for those blue eyes. My son had them too, so beautiful they were! As he grew older they weren't as crystal blue. They have a pool, and the kids swam. I always enjoy hanging out with the kids, and always have. When my older brothers had children, I always hung out with them at family gatherings, and always went to visit them when they were young. And now my nieces have their own children, and I am a proud GREAT Aunt to nine boys! Ha, not one girl. They are all so precious, and I love spending time with them to see them grow. It's funny how life keeps evolving and evolving with each generation just growing and growing. Something you don't think about when you are young.
So, today was a day just to be free and enjoy myself, and I did. Tomorrow I want to dive back into some Teal videos, like her shadow house 2.0, and the new one she did about finding your pain and life purpose. She's just great, she's always just one step ahead of me and I love it! I can't explain it, but it's like I feel her presence around me often, so much during the day, and it is so beautiful and so comforting to feel. It's like I know everything will be okay now that I found her, and I am back home! I still talk to her all day, sometimes saying, "hello", or "I love you", or "thank you", and I tell her the ideas I receive and the way I am growing and changing.
We are totally, really going to be the change. Thank you Universe for caring and pushing me ahead. I still have so much pain to work out, but it will be just how it should be, right here, right now. Sometimes I feel like I have to stop and really see what's happening, and pinch myself! It's exactly as it should be.
I am helping with the Boston Workshop, and I thought Teal should have flowers all around her, bouquets everywhere. Then, she just came out with a new painting, "Sunflower", and it is amazing! So much energy pops out of the picture its crazy. So, I thought instead of roses, we could put sunflowers all over! I am asking the Universe to provide us with tons of fresh Sunflowers for Teal Swan's Workshop at the Hyatt, in Cambridge, MA on August 9, 2014, and I thank you! And so it is!
I am so excited for this workshop, I sense a total different energy. More calming and peaceful for me for sure, I am thrilled to have my own space at night to sleep and wake up in! But, the cool thing is Blake and Graciela are staying in the Boston House this time. I think it's a first for them, and that in itself is awesome.
Okay, I am turning in for the night. Thank you Universe, for pushing us all to expand, to make this a better place! Namaste
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Day 18 ~ Friday
I woke up to my oldest daughter being in an amazing mood this morning, when usually she is very quiet. She told me she read the book I asked her to read, "Sara", and she loved it. It's a book about the power of attraction, but written in a story form about a young girl, Sara. It is one of the most powerful books I have read about the law of attraction, and a very easy light read. I am thrilled my daughter finished it, it could change their life immensely for sure! Sara meets an Owl, Soloman, and he teaches her the lessons about the power of attraction. Simply splendid indeed. We talked about how you would teach your two year old these lessons, and about teaching them about abundance. And Teal just made a podcast with Sarbdeep about abundance and money, and explained how children of rich parents always felt the abundance, never a lack of, and that's why they manifest it so easy! Her teachings are always in line with my life, and I thank her for that, I wonder if she's watching! Ha! She said she would! She also made a good point about money and abundance, not to limit what you want to come through money, that is limiting the way abundance will come. Someone can leave you a beautiful home on the lake, or a new Mercedes, who knows! It doesn't always have to come from money. This totally opened my eyes in manifesting, I always focused on "financial abundance", not in all forms. Now I am open to all outcomes of abundance, let it shine on me anyway it wants to!
My daughter came home from work stressed out, and upset about work. It is hard for us to change right away, that's why it is great to have others with us along the way, to help us to stay guided on our path. I know I want to live in the "Chain of Joy". I decided to go to the beach, it was a gorgeous day and I wanted to be outside in the sun and by the ocean! When I got to the beach I got to talk to my new best friend from Chicago, who lives in Wisconsin. She is going through so many changes like me, a shift in energies. We have such amazing energy together, it's crazy. We talked for a long time, and she is getting many messages about herself and her life journey from so many people, she is freakin out! It is so awesome to have others to share this journey with, to enlightenment and oneness. To see the light already within us, to push the darkness away by releasing the trauma, and integrating it within.
The beach was relaxing, but hot, I kept my face under the umbrella. I was happy all day, everyone I met was kind and friendly. I was grateful today for so many things. Grateful to not have to work and care for four small children anymore, ever. Grateful to be able to hit the beach for the day. Grateful for the changes I am making within myself, I feel such a different shift. Grateful to be able to see Teal again in Boston, and help volunteer! Grateful my son and his best friend is taking the road trip with me and will meet my Teal friends, I could go on and on it seems!! Yay
I did have a few breakdowns today in the car though. I cried over childhood stuff I was remembering, how my mom use to cry sometimes, so sad it broke my heart. And it made me scared, I never knew why she was crying. It left me feeling so scared, and so afraid, not understanding why she would freak out, and no one was there to hold me, comfort me and tell me it was going to be okay. I am glad past stuff keeps coming up like Teal said, to bring it on, so you can release those emotions, and integrate them.
Namaste
My daughter came home from work stressed out, and upset about work. It is hard for us to change right away, that's why it is great to have others with us along the way, to help us to stay guided on our path. I know I want to live in the "Chain of Joy". I decided to go to the beach, it was a gorgeous day and I wanted to be outside in the sun and by the ocean! When I got to the beach I got to talk to my new best friend from Chicago, who lives in Wisconsin. She is going through so many changes like me, a shift in energies. We have such amazing energy together, it's crazy. We talked for a long time, and she is getting many messages about herself and her life journey from so many people, she is freakin out! It is so awesome to have others to share this journey with, to enlightenment and oneness. To see the light already within us, to push the darkness away by releasing the trauma, and integrating it within.
The beach was relaxing, but hot, I kept my face under the umbrella. I was happy all day, everyone I met was kind and friendly. I was grateful today for so many things. Grateful to not have to work and care for four small children anymore, ever. Grateful to be able to hit the beach for the day. Grateful for the changes I am making within myself, I feel such a different shift. Grateful to be able to see Teal again in Boston, and help volunteer! Grateful my son and his best friend is taking the road trip with me and will meet my Teal friends, I could go on and on it seems!! Yay
I did have a few breakdowns today in the car though. I cried over childhood stuff I was remembering, how my mom use to cry sometimes, so sad it broke my heart. And it made me scared, I never knew why she was crying. It left me feeling so scared, and so afraid, not understanding why she would freak out, and no one was there to hold me, comfort me and tell me it was going to be okay. I am glad past stuff keeps coming up like Teal said, to bring it on, so you can release those emotions, and integrate them.
Namaste
Day 17 ~ Thursday
Hello
So, it's already Thursday. I will tell you I love being home! I couldn't be bored for one second anyway, there is always something to do. Or not! I still try to put myself first and see what I feel like doing in a given day. I always get on the computer, check in with my face book friends, and watch some new information from Teal. I love to keep up with all of her recent videos, etc. because she always seems to give me messages I need to hear, things I was just thinking about! It's crazy, I know. It seems as with each step, there are new questions, and new answers, and more and more information, it truly is never ending! I am still so happy waking up, still grateful to be where I am right now, definitely better than I was before. I am happy taking care of myself, and probably need to pay attention to my body more, caring for it better. I need to be doing yoga every single morning, and I haven't started yet. My body needs to stretch, and is use to stretching from being a gymnast. My pain is still here, and I am working through that. I don't always remember though to stop when I am in bad pain, lay down, and ask my pain where it is from. What does it want to tell me? I do remember at times, but still don't get answers, but maybe I should be looking for feelings instead. To see how the pain makes me feel, what does it do for me? Teal did explain that once I take care of myself, change my life, don't abandon myself, and work through my past childhood traumas, my body won't do this to me anymore. It is crying for me to stop and just be with it, and not change it, and that is what I have been working on. Accepting exactly where I am, in pain and all! But, I know now I will work through it, and I am on my way to recovery, and to peace and harmony within myself, and becoming whole.
I love my backyard, I hang out there everyday, the birds come all day to eat, and say hello, and sing, and it is magnificent! I do my work outside, read outside, everything I can! I don't remember the last time I felt so at peace, so safe, and so okay about my future, knowing the Universe has bigger things in store for me! I am ready, hear me roar! Teal said to dive into the fire, and I am doing just that, working on myself each time an issue comes up with me, but not dwelling on it or forcing it to appear. To just be, be in the moment, not having to run anywhere! I love it, and see how much I am growing each day. And I am grateful for my new journey, my new path, with Teal, Sarb, Blake, and my new/old soul family!
Namaste
Carol
So, it's already Thursday. I will tell you I love being home! I couldn't be bored for one second anyway, there is always something to do. Or not! I still try to put myself first and see what I feel like doing in a given day. I always get on the computer, check in with my face book friends, and watch some new information from Teal. I love to keep up with all of her recent videos, etc. because she always seems to give me messages I need to hear, things I was just thinking about! It's crazy, I know. It seems as with each step, there are new questions, and new answers, and more and more information, it truly is never ending! I am still so happy waking up, still grateful to be where I am right now, definitely better than I was before. I am happy taking care of myself, and probably need to pay attention to my body more, caring for it better. I need to be doing yoga every single morning, and I haven't started yet. My body needs to stretch, and is use to stretching from being a gymnast. My pain is still here, and I am working through that. I don't always remember though to stop when I am in bad pain, lay down, and ask my pain where it is from. What does it want to tell me? I do remember at times, but still don't get answers, but maybe I should be looking for feelings instead. To see how the pain makes me feel, what does it do for me? Teal did explain that once I take care of myself, change my life, don't abandon myself, and work through my past childhood traumas, my body won't do this to me anymore. It is crying for me to stop and just be with it, and not change it, and that is what I have been working on. Accepting exactly where I am, in pain and all! But, I know now I will work through it, and I am on my way to recovery, and to peace and harmony within myself, and becoming whole.
I love my backyard, I hang out there everyday, the birds come all day to eat, and say hello, and sing, and it is magnificent! I do my work outside, read outside, everything I can! I don't remember the last time I felt so at peace, so safe, and so okay about my future, knowing the Universe has bigger things in store for me! I am ready, hear me roar! Teal said to dive into the fire, and I am doing just that, working on myself each time an issue comes up with me, but not dwelling on it or forcing it to appear. To just be, be in the moment, not having to run anywhere! I love it, and see how much I am growing each day. And I am grateful for my new journey, my new path, with Teal, Sarb, Blake, and my new/old soul family!
Namaste
Carol
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Day 16 ~ Wednesday ~
Namaste
I watched the video again last night from Teal's Workshop in Chicago. I learn so much each time I watch it, and I only have watched it three times. The first two times were so emotional, I cried so much and one night went to bed depressed. But, last night wasn't as depressing, I really caught so many more things she told me.
She explained why I was in my pain, because my body wants to rest, and wants me to become whole by integrating my past childhood pain. Well, how the heck are we suppose to know this if no one ever explains this to us? Do you know how many years I have felt this pain? Since I left College, way back then. She said I had a lot of trauma growing up, more than I even remember. She said I was afraid to "feel", good or bad emotions. She explained that I even have resistance to positive emotions, because as a child, when I got excited about something, it was crushed down by my parents, them not liking how excited I was. Now I can see how I kept getting this feeling from my ex husband, every time I got overly excited about something, he would tell me to calm down, like raining on my parade.
She explained how I have been a victim my entire life, and a slave driver because that is what I saw my Mother do. She explained how the way I have been handling my life is, "self abuse". I am abandoning myself each day I would push myself to take care of others a lot, and along with being a nanny and caring for four small children.
As I look back and watch the video, I realize everything she told me, I already knew. The little voice in my head, my spirit guides, were always telling me how to take care of myself, and I didn't listen. I didn't listen due to fear and worry about money, how will I pay for things and care for my children? I thought I had no other options and the Universe wouldn't send me the life I wanted to live. Then, by watching Teal's video's about self love, manifesting, following our joy, and how we came here to be happy, I started to tell the Universe what I wanted. Which was to stay home everyday and write for financial abundance. I realized how much I love to stay home, I am a homey, and would love a money to flow while I was doing that. And, I love to write, I have been writing in a journal since I have been 18 years old, my first pain from something my ex did. So, I told the Universe I want to stay home and write, and that will bring me financial abundance. And look how the Universe worked for me, Teal told me to stay home, rest, and take care of myself, and I needed to change my entire life to become whole. So, when I arrived home, I knew I had to leave my job, but telling my boss would be the hard part, of course worrying about them more than me. To my surprise, when she called me Tuesday to check in, I told her I had to leave. I cried my eyes out to her, explaining how bad my pain has been, how I have been ignoring it, and can't anymore. She was so understanding and caring it shocked me. She explained how they care about me, and want me to feel better and be free of pain. See how the Universe works in our favor when we do the right thing by caring for ourselves? It takes care of it for us. She even told me not to come in anymore, to take the week off and she will pay me. Wow, what a blessing and relief that was to hear. It made me feel so supported and understood, she is such a beautiful soul, along with her sister and their kids. These children are the best in the world. They have so much love in their heart, and they blessed me with their love each and every day. I am so blessed to be able to care for them, and will miss them so. I feel I need to rest though.
Teal explained how ill my body was and explained how she works with terminally ill patients, and I would be considered "terminally ill" energetically. I cried. That hit home really hard. Then she asked me, "doesn't it feel that way?" And I replied no, then yes when I was vomiting for two days. Honestly, it has felt that way, my pain has felt so bad for so many years, I felt the energy depleting each day, feeling more and more drained. But, of course I just kept keeping on. Did I think it would eventually kill me soon? No, I did not take it that seriously, but she made it perfectly clear on stage how serious it was. To take a few months off to care for myself is better than manifesting something worse, and leaving this place too soon, not wanting my kids to live without me.
She explained how I have so many triggers, mainly my children, but when I feel that emotion to try to take that energy and go inside and see where it stems from. I usually remembered to do that, which is great. I keep getting the same images, as I explained to her on stage, but she explained to keep going there, when it is time, more visions will come. She was my "Mother Willow" guiding me to a life of oneness, of becoming whole, as she put it, "this pain can transform you more than you know". I am excited to see where my path will lead, I am so happy in my heart every single day, in a way I haven't felt before. I am love, I am loved, and I want all beings to be free from suffering! But, it is a process like she says, one of diving into those emotions, into the eye of the fire, to set ourselves free!!
Love and Light Always ~
I watched the video again last night from Teal's Workshop in Chicago. I learn so much each time I watch it, and I only have watched it three times. The first two times were so emotional, I cried so much and one night went to bed depressed. But, last night wasn't as depressing, I really caught so many more things she told me.
She explained why I was in my pain, because my body wants to rest, and wants me to become whole by integrating my past childhood pain. Well, how the heck are we suppose to know this if no one ever explains this to us? Do you know how many years I have felt this pain? Since I left College, way back then. She said I had a lot of trauma growing up, more than I even remember. She said I was afraid to "feel", good or bad emotions. She explained that I even have resistance to positive emotions, because as a child, when I got excited about something, it was crushed down by my parents, them not liking how excited I was. Now I can see how I kept getting this feeling from my ex husband, every time I got overly excited about something, he would tell me to calm down, like raining on my parade.
She explained how I have been a victim my entire life, and a slave driver because that is what I saw my Mother do. She explained how the way I have been handling my life is, "self abuse". I am abandoning myself each day I would push myself to take care of others a lot, and along with being a nanny and caring for four small children.
As I look back and watch the video, I realize everything she told me, I already knew. The little voice in my head, my spirit guides, were always telling me how to take care of myself, and I didn't listen. I didn't listen due to fear and worry about money, how will I pay for things and care for my children? I thought I had no other options and the Universe wouldn't send me the life I wanted to live. Then, by watching Teal's video's about self love, manifesting, following our joy, and how we came here to be happy, I started to tell the Universe what I wanted. Which was to stay home everyday and write for financial abundance. I realized how much I love to stay home, I am a homey, and would love a money to flow while I was doing that. And, I love to write, I have been writing in a journal since I have been 18 years old, my first pain from something my ex did. So, I told the Universe I want to stay home and write, and that will bring me financial abundance. And look how the Universe worked for me, Teal told me to stay home, rest, and take care of myself, and I needed to change my entire life to become whole. So, when I arrived home, I knew I had to leave my job, but telling my boss would be the hard part, of course worrying about them more than me. To my surprise, when she called me Tuesday to check in, I told her I had to leave. I cried my eyes out to her, explaining how bad my pain has been, how I have been ignoring it, and can't anymore. She was so understanding and caring it shocked me. She explained how they care about me, and want me to feel better and be free of pain. See how the Universe works in our favor when we do the right thing by caring for ourselves? It takes care of it for us. She even told me not to come in anymore, to take the week off and she will pay me. Wow, what a blessing and relief that was to hear. It made me feel so supported and understood, she is such a beautiful soul, along with her sister and their kids. These children are the best in the world. They have so much love in their heart, and they blessed me with their love each and every day. I am so blessed to be able to care for them, and will miss them so. I feel I need to rest though.
Teal explained how ill my body was and explained how she works with terminally ill patients, and I would be considered "terminally ill" energetically. I cried. That hit home really hard. Then she asked me, "doesn't it feel that way?" And I replied no, then yes when I was vomiting for two days. Honestly, it has felt that way, my pain has felt so bad for so many years, I felt the energy depleting each day, feeling more and more drained. But, of course I just kept keeping on. Did I think it would eventually kill me soon? No, I did not take it that seriously, but she made it perfectly clear on stage how serious it was. To take a few months off to care for myself is better than manifesting something worse, and leaving this place too soon, not wanting my kids to live without me.
She explained how I have so many triggers, mainly my children, but when I feel that emotion to try to take that energy and go inside and see where it stems from. I usually remembered to do that, which is great. I keep getting the same images, as I explained to her on stage, but she explained to keep going there, when it is time, more visions will come. She was my "Mother Willow" guiding me to a life of oneness, of becoming whole, as she put it, "this pain can transform you more than you know". I am excited to see where my path will lead, I am so happy in my heart every single day, in a way I haven't felt before. I am love, I am loved, and I want all beings to be free from suffering! But, it is a process like she says, one of diving into those emotions, into the eye of the fire, to set ourselves free!!
Love and Light Always ~
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Day 15 ~ Tuesday
So, this will be week three being home from Teal's Workshop in Chicago. Checking in with my feelings, I am still pretty good. I wake up happy every day, grateful to be where I am, remembering just to "be". Just to let the day flow, purposely not making plans, so I can just "be". I putz around in the garden, water the plants and make some tea in the morning. I usually enjoy checking in on Face book, to see how my Teal friends are doing, and my family. I give advice if I can, and support the ones I know. I always like to keep up with Teal's new information, her blog, her Saturday "Ask Teal Episodes", and "Tea Time with Teal", with Teal and Sarbdeep every Wednesdays. It seems as if she is reading my mind, because everything she puts out there, is something I was just asking myself about. It's like I ask, and she answers. I say hello to her all day, and thank her as well. She has become a large part of my life in spirit, like a guide helping me on this journey, that is so well needed. I ask my spirit guides for help each and every day and feel their loving guidance as well.
I laid around today, the girls went to tan at their Dad's. It use to bother me when they left, feeling so left out, and now it's okay. I am okay with staying home, energizing and doing anything I want. Not telling myself what I "should" be doing, just doing whatever I feel like at any given moment. It is easy to do this when you don't have obligations to run to every day, such as work, work, work, etc. I always have too many things I want to do anyway. I took some colored pencils out and tried to finish a Mandala I started in Chicago. I love art, I love to create, to draw, paint, write, anything. It is so fun to express your soul in that way, and when you are in that state, it is one of pure joy. I would love to be able to paint with vibrations like some other artists do. I am starting now to take some time to work on the creative projects I have wanted to get done, like framing the kids pictures I bought frames for, like putting together a scrapbook for them, and painting some old furniture I have white.
It was a really hot day here today, I couldn't even sit out back all day like I love to do. I bring my books, computer, etc. and do all my work outside now, all the time. So, I stayed in, and after coloring with the pencils, my daughter and I took a ride to run some errands. I came home, made some dinner for myself and laid down a few minutes and decided to do some work and watch the video of me on stage with Teal in Chicago. This time it was not as emotional for me. Each time I see it, I learn so much more. I talk too much, I am so nervous and talk with my hands. She said so much to me, it was crazy. She told me I was lucky, my pain is giving me the opportunity for major expansion, if I can open myself up to be in the pain, and just be with it. She said the Universe wants me to become whole so much, it is doing this to me so I will stay home and care for myself. Accept the pain I am in and not run from it like I have been doing, by just wanting to be "healed". I shouldn't and I can't should be phrases I no longer use. Maybe the Universe is giving me the opportunity to integrate my past childhood pain so I can become whole. Wow, how beautiful, how amazing. Who knew the Universe worked this way and cared so much about us to become whole it will do anything to throw it in our face to, "wake us up". Yes, for sure. She taught me so much that day, I will be forever grateful. How someone would take the time, to help you realize your pain, and walk you through it, just to help you heal, and become whole, and further expand the Universe!
Each day I am releasing past pain. Either visions come out of nowhere, or I get upset about something and I stop myself and realize the Universe is setting me up to integrate some old painful memory or feeling. I am also aware of my triggers, and take that energy like Teal said, and go within and see where it is coming from. It definitely becomes easier the more you go with your feelings. It seems to work pretty well, I can get to that place of pain and sadness, cry, then it goes away. Teal said I was afraid to feel, to feel pain and positive emotion. Every time I would get excited about something as a child, it was knocked down by mother, crushing my joy and hope. I do remember her always telling me when I was so happy about something, "Don't count your chickens before they are hatched!" I use to hate when she said that, when I felt we had to dream to have what we wanted. So, Teal said it is hard for me to stay in a vibration of positive focus, due to my past experiences of feeling joy. I will no longer be a victim of feeling, feeling anything, pain or joy. I am now free to feel however I am feeling at the moment, and accept that feeling, and allowing it to just be. I will not push it aside any longer, abandoning myself as I did, for most of my life. My life has to change, and the time is now, or I will not be able to live a joyful, blissful life with my children, family and loved ones. Teal was very serious about many things she said to me, and one was about changing my life drastically, which I did by quitting my job, and the next step is my children moving into their own place, and spreading their wings to fly like they can not wait to do. It is ok, it is time!
I am no longer afraid to live, I no longer live in fear of the future. I live in the moment, following my joy, seeing what each moment brings, and always being with myself first. Always checking in with my feelings, and what I really want to do.
I am learning so much, and feel so free, thanks to you, Teal Swan! I am forever grateful!
Namaste ~
I laid around today, the girls went to tan at their Dad's. It use to bother me when they left, feeling so left out, and now it's okay. I am okay with staying home, energizing and doing anything I want. Not telling myself what I "should" be doing, just doing whatever I feel like at any given moment. It is easy to do this when you don't have obligations to run to every day, such as work, work, work, etc. I always have too many things I want to do anyway. I took some colored pencils out and tried to finish a Mandala I started in Chicago. I love art, I love to create, to draw, paint, write, anything. It is so fun to express your soul in that way, and when you are in that state, it is one of pure joy. I would love to be able to paint with vibrations like some other artists do. I am starting now to take some time to work on the creative projects I have wanted to get done, like framing the kids pictures I bought frames for, like putting together a scrapbook for them, and painting some old furniture I have white.
It was a really hot day here today, I couldn't even sit out back all day like I love to do. I bring my books, computer, etc. and do all my work outside now, all the time. So, I stayed in, and after coloring with the pencils, my daughter and I took a ride to run some errands. I came home, made some dinner for myself and laid down a few minutes and decided to do some work and watch the video of me on stage with Teal in Chicago. This time it was not as emotional for me. Each time I see it, I learn so much more. I talk too much, I am so nervous and talk with my hands. She said so much to me, it was crazy. She told me I was lucky, my pain is giving me the opportunity for major expansion, if I can open myself up to be in the pain, and just be with it. She said the Universe wants me to become whole so much, it is doing this to me so I will stay home and care for myself. Accept the pain I am in and not run from it like I have been doing, by just wanting to be "healed". I shouldn't and I can't should be phrases I no longer use. Maybe the Universe is giving me the opportunity to integrate my past childhood pain so I can become whole. Wow, how beautiful, how amazing. Who knew the Universe worked this way and cared so much about us to become whole it will do anything to throw it in our face to, "wake us up". Yes, for sure. She taught me so much that day, I will be forever grateful. How someone would take the time, to help you realize your pain, and walk you through it, just to help you heal, and become whole, and further expand the Universe!
Each day I am releasing past pain. Either visions come out of nowhere, or I get upset about something and I stop myself and realize the Universe is setting me up to integrate some old painful memory or feeling. I am also aware of my triggers, and take that energy like Teal said, and go within and see where it is coming from. It definitely becomes easier the more you go with your feelings. It seems to work pretty well, I can get to that place of pain and sadness, cry, then it goes away. Teal said I was afraid to feel, to feel pain and positive emotion. Every time I would get excited about something as a child, it was knocked down by mother, crushing my joy and hope. I do remember her always telling me when I was so happy about something, "Don't count your chickens before they are hatched!" I use to hate when she said that, when I felt we had to dream to have what we wanted. So, Teal said it is hard for me to stay in a vibration of positive focus, due to my past experiences of feeling joy. I will no longer be a victim of feeling, feeling anything, pain or joy. I am now free to feel however I am feeling at the moment, and accept that feeling, and allowing it to just be. I will not push it aside any longer, abandoning myself as I did, for most of my life. My life has to change, and the time is now, or I will not be able to live a joyful, blissful life with my children, family and loved ones. Teal was very serious about many things she said to me, and one was about changing my life drastically, which I did by quitting my job, and the next step is my children moving into their own place, and spreading their wings to fly like they can not wait to do. It is ok, it is time!
I am no longer afraid to live, I no longer live in fear of the future. I live in the moment, following my joy, seeing what each moment brings, and always being with myself first. Always checking in with my feelings, and what I really want to do.
I am learning so much, and feel so free, thanks to you, Teal Swan! I am forever grateful!
Namaste ~
Monday, July 7, 2014
Monday ~ Day 14
So, I have been home two weeks since Teal's Workshop. As I am re evaluating my feelings and where I am at emotionally, I have to say I still am in a state of transformation. My thoughts are still positive, my heart is filled with love, and I am actually excited to see what the future will bring to me. I am open to all possibilities, and have been so busy each day. It's like I have the chance to play "catch up" with my life, and have so much to catch up on. Projects I wanted to do, and felt I didn't have the time. Even things like getting new tires for my car, I have put off for months, but not today, my car is in the shop as we speak getting some TLC for a change! I have had my car for five years, and never put new tires on it, buying them used all the time. And my car starts to vibrate over 70 miles an hour, which hasn't made me feel very safe! (But, I ask the Angels to put a bubble of white light around me and protect me each time I travel)
I am learning so many new lessons on self love and each day am clearer and clearer about where I need to be and my living arrangements.
I have thoughts of inviting a few woman who follow Teal as I do, to maybe living in this house here with me, and each paying rent. This home is large, it's a four bedroom 100 year old home with a large lemonade porch in the front of the home. I have been here four years, and my landlord hasn't raised the rent since. As I just started to look to move again, everything is so overpriced its ridiculous. I would only benefit if I went to a one bedroom or studio, which I still will have to pay over $1,000 for. If I have other room mates in this house, I would pay a few hundred less, would have much more space, and the fun and love of others around. I would definitely be picky on who lived with me, they would have to be a kind, loving, like minded soul like me, and like my old friend I just found again in Chicago.
So, this week I plan on concentrating on working on my self, staying in touch with all of Teal's new video's, and her interviews that I missed, cleansing each room, and starting a project with some furniture I have, sanding it and painting it white. I also get my other reading in here and there, because there is so much I want to get read.
Today is very hot, I was outside all morning, but had to come in due to the heat. Tomorrow I think I may hit the beach, missing it already. I also want to find a town pool or lake that I can join, so I have a place to hit the water, lay outside in the fresh air, and say hello to the sun. All is good, I am happy, and I am blessed!
Namaste ~
I am learning so many new lessons on self love and each day am clearer and clearer about where I need to be and my living arrangements.
I have thoughts of inviting a few woman who follow Teal as I do, to maybe living in this house here with me, and each paying rent. This home is large, it's a four bedroom 100 year old home with a large lemonade porch in the front of the home. I have been here four years, and my landlord hasn't raised the rent since. As I just started to look to move again, everything is so overpriced its ridiculous. I would only benefit if I went to a one bedroom or studio, which I still will have to pay over $1,000 for. If I have other room mates in this house, I would pay a few hundred less, would have much more space, and the fun and love of others around. I would definitely be picky on who lived with me, they would have to be a kind, loving, like minded soul like me, and like my old friend I just found again in Chicago.
So, this week I plan on concentrating on working on my self, staying in touch with all of Teal's new video's, and her interviews that I missed, cleansing each room, and starting a project with some furniture I have, sanding it and painting it white. I also get my other reading in here and there, because there is so much I want to get read.
Today is very hot, I was outside all morning, but had to come in due to the heat. Tomorrow I think I may hit the beach, missing it already. I also want to find a town pool or lake that I can join, so I have a place to hit the water, lay outside in the fresh air, and say hello to the sun. All is good, I am happy, and I am blessed!
Namaste ~
Sunday ~ Day 13
Hello, another gorgeous day we had! The most perfect weather, cool breeze, sun was hot though. My brothers wife was having her friend over to swim and eat today, and she invited me, how sweet she is. She always makes me feel so loved, I was thinking how glad I am that my brother married her and they found each other. I told her that also today, and she was grateful. She's a hard working woman, cooking for everyone and not asking for help. I arrived later than everyone, but enjoyed being outside all day, and being with her and her company. My brother was working, but got home around 5:00. I stayed until 7:00 then wanted to get home for the fireworks. I love them, they are so beautiful, but if they are bad for the environment, then they should not be allowed.
I still have a lot of work to do on myself, but will take care of that tomorrow. I need to watch the video again from the workshop, because it brings so many emotions to me, and helps me to release the past pain. There are still so much pain that comes up from my childhood, feeling so unloved, and feeling like no one cared. I noticed I say that a lot to myself during the day at home, how no one cares about me, and things that should be done are not. Then, I finally realized its a trigger for me, to go back into my child and integrate those feelings within. There is so much pain going back, but I know it's work I have to do, but I do not seem to be in that painful place very long, I cry a bit, and then it's gone. I always seem to come back to a loving, grateful, joyous place.
I love being home, not having to work every day, just being able to do whatever it is I want to do. It still is an awesome feeling for me, and I still have no worries about financial abundance. I am trusting in the Universe to take over for me, and just flow downstream with the current this time. To be so free, that whatever happens I will accept and go with, and see what lesson it is I need to learn.
Love and Light always ~ Namaste
I still have a lot of work to do on myself, but will take care of that tomorrow. I need to watch the video again from the workshop, because it brings so many emotions to me, and helps me to release the past pain. There are still so much pain that comes up from my childhood, feeling so unloved, and feeling like no one cared. I noticed I say that a lot to myself during the day at home, how no one cares about me, and things that should be done are not. Then, I finally realized its a trigger for me, to go back into my child and integrate those feelings within. There is so much pain going back, but I know it's work I have to do, but I do not seem to be in that painful place very long, I cry a bit, and then it's gone. I always seem to come back to a loving, grateful, joyous place.
I love being home, not having to work every day, just being able to do whatever it is I want to do. It still is an awesome feeling for me, and I still have no worries about financial abundance. I am trusting in the Universe to take over for me, and just flow downstream with the current this time. To be so free, that whatever happens I will accept and go with, and see what lesson it is I need to learn.
Love and Light always ~ Namaste
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Day 12 ~ Saturday
Hello again!
Wow, what a beautiful day it has been, I am so very blessed and lucky to have been able to enjoy the day on the beach with my special niece, her honey, and her two young boys. It was a perfect day on the beach with no humidity. Now, driving down the shore I stay away from the Garden State Parkway, and I take the Turnpike to Route 18, where I grew up,and then the beach. It is much less stressful, less crowded, and is only about 10-15 minutes longer, but worth it to me now, as I do not care for driving at all. I played ball with my nephew, ran in the water with them, and walked the beach. My niece and I talked about my new journey, and how I am learning along the way to love myself, and let go of my children, let go of the mothering I had, its different, over, and done now. If we all took care of ourselves, and put our own feelings first, knowing how to love ourselves first, I feel then there would be peace in the world and major social change. I am excited for that, we are talking about a new world order, one based on abundance, not fear and worry. I have faith this will happen, with enough of us becoming more aware and conscious of this. We also talked about family, and feeling how some of my family just wants their own inner circle, and that's just okay, but different for us. But, I have many family members now who like their privacy, and don't want us inside, and that's fine, just different for me. Thinks have been changing with my family a lot, since my parent's passed and a few of us have gotten divorced.
My nieces new boyfriend is great, he told me when they have a place, I am welcome all the time. I love him, I do, and I love them together, he is a wonderful, loving, thoughtful man, and is loving my nieces two sons unconditionally. When my niece left, I decided to stay, and did not want to leave, it was the most perfect day. I am feeling blessed and grateful to have such beautiful family to enjoy the day with, and just be around. Thank you Universe for that.
On the way home I stopped at a store for a new dress for the Workshop I will be attending of Teal Swan's in Boston. My legs aren't attractive anymore, so I bought two long dresses which I am not use to wearing. I love them, it's the "new" me, I feel like a hippy again. I realized the dresses I have are tight fitting and I don't always want to wear tight dresses any longer, my taste is changing so much. Sometimes people stare and it becomes annoying, thinking how we are not our body at all, but our heart and soul. The tighter dresses are nice to wear out at night, but not running around all day like I wore them last summer. It's funny, this summer I have changed so much and barely like my clothes from last summer. This is really one of the first times this has happened to me, I usually love my summer clothes, wearing them year from year. I was happy I stopped at the store, and found some new clothes for my trip. Wow, this is the way we are meant to live our life, treating ourselves special, and knowing the Universe knows this, and will bring anything we want to us, It doesn't get much better than that.
I have noticed I attract much more kind, loving people now, ever since I have been back from Chicago. Everywhere I go, people have been so nice and friendly. While walking on the streets, most people make eye contact now, it's really nice to connect, realizing how unconnected I have felt for years.
I got home late from the beach, around 9:30 pm. I was going to do some inner work, but was too tired, and decided to take a much needed bath instead. It was heavenly. I went to be with a big smile on my face.
Namaste ~
Wow, what a beautiful day it has been, I am so very blessed and lucky to have been able to enjoy the day on the beach with my special niece, her honey, and her two young boys. It was a perfect day on the beach with no humidity. Now, driving down the shore I stay away from the Garden State Parkway, and I take the Turnpike to Route 18, where I grew up,and then the beach. It is much less stressful, less crowded, and is only about 10-15 minutes longer, but worth it to me now, as I do not care for driving at all. I played ball with my nephew, ran in the water with them, and walked the beach. My niece and I talked about my new journey, and how I am learning along the way to love myself, and let go of my children, let go of the mothering I had, its different, over, and done now. If we all took care of ourselves, and put our own feelings first, knowing how to love ourselves first, I feel then there would be peace in the world and major social change. I am excited for that, we are talking about a new world order, one based on abundance, not fear and worry. I have faith this will happen, with enough of us becoming more aware and conscious of this. We also talked about family, and feeling how some of my family just wants their own inner circle, and that's just okay, but different for us. But, I have many family members now who like their privacy, and don't want us inside, and that's fine, just different for me. Thinks have been changing with my family a lot, since my parent's passed and a few of us have gotten divorced.
My nieces new boyfriend is great, he told me when they have a place, I am welcome all the time. I love him, I do, and I love them together, he is a wonderful, loving, thoughtful man, and is loving my nieces two sons unconditionally. When my niece left, I decided to stay, and did not want to leave, it was the most perfect day. I am feeling blessed and grateful to have such beautiful family to enjoy the day with, and just be around. Thank you Universe for that.
On the way home I stopped at a store for a new dress for the Workshop I will be attending of Teal Swan's in Boston. My legs aren't attractive anymore, so I bought two long dresses which I am not use to wearing. I love them, it's the "new" me, I feel like a hippy again. I realized the dresses I have are tight fitting and I don't always want to wear tight dresses any longer, my taste is changing so much. Sometimes people stare and it becomes annoying, thinking how we are not our body at all, but our heart and soul. The tighter dresses are nice to wear out at night, but not running around all day like I wore them last summer. It's funny, this summer I have changed so much and barely like my clothes from last summer. This is really one of the first times this has happened to me, I usually love my summer clothes, wearing them year from year. I was happy I stopped at the store, and found some new clothes for my trip. Wow, this is the way we are meant to live our life, treating ourselves special, and knowing the Universe knows this, and will bring anything we want to us, It doesn't get much better than that.
I have noticed I attract much more kind, loving people now, ever since I have been back from Chicago. Everywhere I go, people have been so nice and friendly. While walking on the streets, most people make eye contact now, it's really nice to connect, realizing how unconnected I have felt for years.
I got home late from the beach, around 9:30 pm. I was going to do some inner work, but was too tired, and decided to take a much needed bath instead. It was heavenly. I went to be with a big smile on my face.
Namaste ~
Friday, July 4, 2014
Day 11 ~ Friday
Good morning!
Today is the fourth of July, but its a rainy day and the parade's were all cancelled. We had a storm last night, the rain was crazy, but with it left a beautiful cold front, a much needed relief.
My pain is a little calmer, but still so much in pain. I am going to get to work today on myself by watching some of Teal's videos regarding pain, and watching the Chicago Workshop again. If my pain is past trauma childhood emotions, than it only makes sense to go there when I truly am in serious pain. So, I did so some work today and realized how much my parents argued, and how scared I always felt as a child, scared and unsafe. Supposedly, these are good things, good these feelings arose. So much more to get to, I think, but it's all good! Good to be growing, changing, and integrating the new.
It was a rainy day so I stayed in this morning and got on the computer. Then went to the store with my daughter, we had a nice time. We were all off today due to it being July 4th, so I cooked dinner. We made different food, my daughter helped. I bought corn on the cob and wanted to do something with it so my daughter created a cold corn salad with black beans, chic peas and avocado and it was great! I also made turnips with parsley, garlic and onions and it was great too! We had a nice, calm, bonding dinner, thank you for that.
Today was the first day I felt my daughters embraced my higher vibration and enjoyed it, instead of fighting it. They were happier, lighter and more free, having more fun, being laid back. It's a nice sigh of relief for a change!
Then I see l posting quotes on face book, about everyone being a mirror, and I still wonder about the complaining and negativity my daughters and I still have. Where does it comes from? Maybe it's a journey back to knowing, to remembering who we are, and a process. I always wanted to learn and do things instantly, never wanting to take the long road. But, with this, I see I need patience, and growth takes time, like a life time, and never seems to stop. As long as I keep feeling this way, I am on my way to true recovery, to a life filled with joy and bliss, doing what I want, when I want, along with the financial abundance I want so I can have the freedom to experience anything I want. Anything like traveling to any oasis place I want, the beach, the Ocean, London, Italy, France, Greece, anywhere I want to visit. I want to never have to worry about paying a bill, or a place to live, and want loved ones around me all of the time. I want peace, love, happiness and health. I want my children around me, family, loved ones, I want to feel the love and connection of others.
Namaste ~
Today is the fourth of July, but its a rainy day and the parade's were all cancelled. We had a storm last night, the rain was crazy, but with it left a beautiful cold front, a much needed relief.
My pain is a little calmer, but still so much in pain. I am going to get to work today on myself by watching some of Teal's videos regarding pain, and watching the Chicago Workshop again. If my pain is past trauma childhood emotions, than it only makes sense to go there when I truly am in serious pain. So, I did so some work today and realized how much my parents argued, and how scared I always felt as a child, scared and unsafe. Supposedly, these are good things, good these feelings arose. So much more to get to, I think, but it's all good! Good to be growing, changing, and integrating the new.
It was a rainy day so I stayed in this morning and got on the computer. Then went to the store with my daughter, we had a nice time. We were all off today due to it being July 4th, so I cooked dinner. We made different food, my daughter helped. I bought corn on the cob and wanted to do something with it so my daughter created a cold corn salad with black beans, chic peas and avocado and it was great! I also made turnips with parsley, garlic and onions and it was great too! We had a nice, calm, bonding dinner, thank you for that.
Today was the first day I felt my daughters embraced my higher vibration and enjoyed it, instead of fighting it. They were happier, lighter and more free, having more fun, being laid back. It's a nice sigh of relief for a change!
Then I see l posting quotes on face book, about everyone being a mirror, and I still wonder about the complaining and negativity my daughters and I still have. Where does it comes from? Maybe it's a journey back to knowing, to remembering who we are, and a process. I always wanted to learn and do things instantly, never wanting to take the long road. But, with this, I see I need patience, and growth takes time, like a life time, and never seems to stop. As long as I keep feeling this way, I am on my way to true recovery, to a life filled with joy and bliss, doing what I want, when I want, along with the financial abundance I want so I can have the freedom to experience anything I want. Anything like traveling to any oasis place I want, the beach, the Ocean, London, Italy, France, Greece, anywhere I want to visit. I want to never have to worry about paying a bill, or a place to live, and want loved ones around me all of the time. I want peace, love, happiness and health. I want my children around me, family, loved ones, I want to feel the love and connection of others.
Namaste ~
Day 10 ~ Thursday
Hello ~
I had a really tough day today. It's about 90 degrees today and I feel so drained and am in so much pain. So, I took it easy all day, laying around and getting small cleaning projects done and cleaned all the cans out of the cabinets to give to the food bank. We rarely use can food any more, and there are food banks to help those in need. The cleansing is really important for me now, I just feel it. It's so important to cleanse, keep your home clutter free, etc., it releases that old stagnant energy and allows for the new. I know it's hard to do this when your vibration isn't very high, but it is so rewarding and so worth pushing ourselves to do. I never realized how important it was until now. And also sage to cleanse our energies too. I usually sage once a week, but when there are arguments and a lot of negative energy around, I try to sage more.
I decided to try to see where my pain was coming from, so I laid on the bed and listened to Teal's video on "Healing the emotional body". Well, I passed out watching it, feeling so drained from the heat. I feel very sleepy, and out of it today. Before bed I tried to watch the video again, and passed out during it again. I don't understand the pain in my body, but Teal's advice was that it is emotional, and she asked me on stage if I had gone into the pain and asked it why it is there. I have done this many times, and I seem to get feelings of not feeling loved and being lonely. So with that, I am suppose to dive deep down to the experiences that caused me to feel this way. This is what I am currently working on, finding out the root of my pain.
I still seem to be in a happy place, a feeling of contentment, peace and love fills my heart. I know I did not feel this love in my heart as much before being in Chicago, it is amazing how someone can make changes in other peoples energy by being around them, and healing them.
Feeling loved and blessed ~
I had a really tough day today. It's about 90 degrees today and I feel so drained and am in so much pain. So, I took it easy all day, laying around and getting small cleaning projects done and cleaned all the cans out of the cabinets to give to the food bank. We rarely use can food any more, and there are food banks to help those in need. The cleansing is really important for me now, I just feel it. It's so important to cleanse, keep your home clutter free, etc., it releases that old stagnant energy and allows for the new. I know it's hard to do this when your vibration isn't very high, but it is so rewarding and so worth pushing ourselves to do. I never realized how important it was until now. And also sage to cleanse our energies too. I usually sage once a week, but when there are arguments and a lot of negative energy around, I try to sage more.
I decided to try to see where my pain was coming from, so I laid on the bed and listened to Teal's video on "Healing the emotional body". Well, I passed out watching it, feeling so drained from the heat. I feel very sleepy, and out of it today. Before bed I tried to watch the video again, and passed out during it again. I don't understand the pain in my body, but Teal's advice was that it is emotional, and she asked me on stage if I had gone into the pain and asked it why it is there. I have done this many times, and I seem to get feelings of not feeling loved and being lonely. So with that, I am suppose to dive deep down to the experiences that caused me to feel this way. This is what I am currently working on, finding out the root of my pain.
I still seem to be in a happy place, a feeling of contentment, peace and love fills my heart. I know I did not feel this love in my heart as much before being in Chicago, it is amazing how someone can make changes in other peoples energy by being around them, and healing them.
Feeling loved and blessed ~
Day 8 ~ Post Teal Swan Workshop ~ Nightime
Hello
So, my day went well today. I have such different feelings at nighttime, so much to reflect on as the day appears unto itself. I bumped into my daughter, son, his friend, and their sister from their Dad with his new wife while I was out today. It was pretty funny bumping into them at the local farmers market. I love that little girl, she is so sweet and so special, I feel it all over when I look at her. Such a blessing in disguise for all of them in that house. My ex is in his fifties, so a one year old can be a challenge to care for at that age. But, he is the one who helped give birth to her, and she has come to teach him so many things about life and love. And in the meantime, I want to take her and eat her up! I engaged in conversation with her, she was quiet. Then when they were leaving I asked her to blow me a kiss, and she nodded her head "no". Oh my.
I am also feeling grateful I can stay home awhile, and not work being a nanny, giving so much to others and not to myself first. I do not know why I feel it drains me, how I allow this to happen to myself, but I do. It feels nice to not have to worry about anyone, anymore, only me. Yay, and now I am enjoying it instead of fearing it. At first, I feared being alone, having to worry about myself because I have always had others to take care of. I actually didn't even want to worry about myself. Now I know why, a lot of past pain and trauma from childhood that I am currently releasing. It seems that when we have any childhood pain, we are not whole until we go back to that child, feel that pain, and comfort it. It's like your soul busts into pieces because the pain is too much to bear, and leaves us. Now, the trick is finding those lost pieces, bringing them back home inside your heart and integrating them into the now. I now see the glory of God in my own heart, I see I am Source Energy, I see how much the Universe loves me and wants me to become whole. To become whole with those lost parts from childhood, integrating them into the now. Wow, I didn't even understand this before I went to Teal Swan's Workshop in Chicago. Look at how I have grown already in the past two weeks, and since Atlanta in February, and since Tarrytown in August. Each and everyone of Teal Swan's workshops has changed me tremendously. Each one I came home with this super high energy, like I am flying high on life and love.
Each workshop I create beautiful, loving, new/old soulmates, and I come back with my heart wide open when I didn't even realize how closed it was. Yes, life still has it's ups and downs, but I can glide through them more smoothly, always coming back to a state of peace for now. I like this new me, I like who I am becoming, and I love my soul family I have finally found again! I thank the Universe and all of you, for finding me!
Namaste ~
So, my day went well today. I have such different feelings at nighttime, so much to reflect on as the day appears unto itself. I bumped into my daughter, son, his friend, and their sister from their Dad with his new wife while I was out today. It was pretty funny bumping into them at the local farmers market. I love that little girl, she is so sweet and so special, I feel it all over when I look at her. Such a blessing in disguise for all of them in that house. My ex is in his fifties, so a one year old can be a challenge to care for at that age. But, he is the one who helped give birth to her, and she has come to teach him so many things about life and love. And in the meantime, I want to take her and eat her up! I engaged in conversation with her, she was quiet. Then when they were leaving I asked her to blow me a kiss, and she nodded her head "no". Oh my.
I am also feeling grateful I can stay home awhile, and not work being a nanny, giving so much to others and not to myself first. I do not know why I feel it drains me, how I allow this to happen to myself, but I do. It feels nice to not have to worry about anyone, anymore, only me. Yay, and now I am enjoying it instead of fearing it. At first, I feared being alone, having to worry about myself because I have always had others to take care of. I actually didn't even want to worry about myself. Now I know why, a lot of past pain and trauma from childhood that I am currently releasing. It seems that when we have any childhood pain, we are not whole until we go back to that child, feel that pain, and comfort it. It's like your soul busts into pieces because the pain is too much to bear, and leaves us. Now, the trick is finding those lost pieces, bringing them back home inside your heart and integrating them into the now. I now see the glory of God in my own heart, I see I am Source Energy, I see how much the Universe loves me and wants me to become whole. To become whole with those lost parts from childhood, integrating them into the now. Wow, I didn't even understand this before I went to Teal Swan's Workshop in Chicago. Look at how I have grown already in the past two weeks, and since Atlanta in February, and since Tarrytown in August. Each and everyone of Teal Swan's workshops has changed me tremendously. Each one I came home with this super high energy, like I am flying high on life and love.
Each workshop I create beautiful, loving, new/old soulmates, and I come back with my heart wide open when I didn't even realize how closed it was. Yes, life still has it's ups and downs, but I can glide through them more smoothly, always coming back to a state of peace for now. I like this new me, I like who I am becoming, and I love my soul family I have finally found again! I thank the Universe and all of you, for finding me!
Namaste ~
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Day 9 ~ Post Teal Swan's Workshop
Good Morning!
Well, seems like that energy came back! I went to bed at 12:00 tired, but couldn't fall asleep. So I stayed up until 2:00 am writing. Went to bed then woke up at 4:00, then 5:00, then 6:30, and finally got up at 6:45. My head was rambling, about everything. I kept talking to Teal, and asking her questions but I don't remember what they were! But my heart is very happy today. My heart holds more love then ever before, this is what happened when I attended the Atlanta Workshop. I left there filled with love, feeling so loved, opening my heart that I didn't realized was so closed. So closed from not feeling loved as a child, not feeling protected. And now I know, I now know when I have a disagreement with my daughter and I try to identify my feelings, they are feelings of unworthiness and not feeling loved. So, this is a good step, I am now at least recognizing where these feelings are coming from, my childhood. So, all we are suppose to do is recognize this, cry, let it out and release these emotions, and they will integrate within all on their own, I can see Teal telling me that I do not need to know how this process happens, nor do I have to do anything for those emotions to integrate, they just do. That is powerful to me.
So, I am excited to see what the day will bring. I am spending the day with my other deep, spiritual friend, and have so much to talk to her about my work with Teal. We are going to see the earth, and hang out there for awhile. It's funny, we were blessed as children to have woods near us to hang out in, which I did daily as a child. I can remember days in the summer walking to the creek all alone, down the hill and around the corner, bathing our feet in the water, walking down the creek, catching pollywogs and bringing them home watching them bloom into frogs. Thank the Lord we had that nature to connect with. I still need it, and would rather be outside all day, then in the house.
After talking to my other friends, it seems as if many of us are digging deep down into these past painful emotions. Wow, it is time. It is great we are all going through this together on earth at this time. I remember Teal crying on one of her videos, crying while she was explaining how we do not need to suffer, and what the world looks like without suffering. It must have been a blissful memory, because she was so touched by it, no pain, no more suffering, all of us living in joy. I can't wait. She explains how Source only knows itself through us, that it is expanding and growing as we are. Wow, that's crazy to me, very different than the Catholic upbringing I had. We were taught to fear God, if we did wrong we would be punished. It's crazy, all for social order, and for control, so we do not see our own power. God forbid that would happen, we would change the world.
I am happy today, and I will dive back into my time with Teal on stage. I was going to watch it with my friend later, it would probably be a great healing session for me with a friend in attendance. I will let you know what happens.
Namaste ~
Well, seems like that energy came back! I went to bed at 12:00 tired, but couldn't fall asleep. So I stayed up until 2:00 am writing. Went to bed then woke up at 4:00, then 5:00, then 6:30, and finally got up at 6:45. My head was rambling, about everything. I kept talking to Teal, and asking her questions but I don't remember what they were! But my heart is very happy today. My heart holds more love then ever before, this is what happened when I attended the Atlanta Workshop. I left there filled with love, feeling so loved, opening my heart that I didn't realized was so closed. So closed from not feeling loved as a child, not feeling protected. And now I know, I now know when I have a disagreement with my daughter and I try to identify my feelings, they are feelings of unworthiness and not feeling loved. So, this is a good step, I am now at least recognizing where these feelings are coming from, my childhood. So, all we are suppose to do is recognize this, cry, let it out and release these emotions, and they will integrate within all on their own, I can see Teal telling me that I do not need to know how this process happens, nor do I have to do anything for those emotions to integrate, they just do. That is powerful to me.
So, I am excited to see what the day will bring. I am spending the day with my other deep, spiritual friend, and have so much to talk to her about my work with Teal. We are going to see the earth, and hang out there for awhile. It's funny, we were blessed as children to have woods near us to hang out in, which I did daily as a child. I can remember days in the summer walking to the creek all alone, down the hill and around the corner, bathing our feet in the water, walking down the creek, catching pollywogs and bringing them home watching them bloom into frogs. Thank the Lord we had that nature to connect with. I still need it, and would rather be outside all day, then in the house.
After talking to my other friends, it seems as if many of us are digging deep down into these past painful emotions. Wow, it is time. It is great we are all going through this together on earth at this time. I remember Teal crying on one of her videos, crying while she was explaining how we do not need to suffer, and what the world looks like without suffering. It must have been a blissful memory, because she was so touched by it, no pain, no more suffering, all of us living in joy. I can't wait. She explains how Source only knows itself through us, that it is expanding and growing as we are. Wow, that's crazy to me, very different than the Catholic upbringing I had. We were taught to fear God, if we did wrong we would be punished. It's crazy, all for social order, and for control, so we do not see our own power. God forbid that would happen, we would change the world.
I am happy today, and I will dive back into my time with Teal on stage. I was going to watch it with my friend later, it would probably be a great healing session for me with a friend in attendance. I will let you know what happens.
Namaste ~
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Day 8 ~ Post Teal Swan's Workshop
Hello ~ Namaste
So, I woke up today tired and in pain again. That energy at 6 am seems to have gone for now. I showered early though because I had a mission today. To get my new soul sister a smart phone. My new friend from Chicago does not have a phone she can text on, or take pictures on, or go on Face Book on. So, the other day I thought of finding out what it would cost to add another line to my phone and it was only $40. So, I decided to buy a new phone for me, and send her my old phone. She is going to go crazy. She already explained how she can't believe how anyone would love her so much to do that for her. She expresses her love to me every day, on Face Book. We have been on Skype together and it's awesome. Now we will be able to Face Time together.
It's really important for the people that bond at Teal Swan's Workshop to stay in touch so we can keep supporting each other and help each other work on ourselves. That's what we do and I am so grateful for her, she has been a large part of my strength. I can't wait until she receives it, I will send it out tomorrow, along with some crystals, and a crystal book I have that she would love. She did not have any crystals, but bought some at the Chicago Workshop. She was so excited because one of the roomies there was a crystal guru. He knew so much and even brought a huge crystal with him to put by Teal on the stage. I love them, they talk to us, want to help guide us, and bring so much information to us, if we just let them in. He brought back a new love of crystals for me, and I am grateful for that.
I went to see my son at work today because my computer wasn't working well. I tried to download a program last night to be involved with a google chat and it fell apart. It added programs,viruses, etc and took me hours to try to fix but couldn't. So my son worked on it today. Then we went to the mall to hang out, eat, and buy a cover for the two cell phones. My eye went straight to the light pink case for myself, and the purple for my friend. Purple is for your third eye, to enhance your spiritual abilities. She is so going to love it. I can't wait.
I had an awesome time with my son, we talked a lot about going to Boston and the fun we are going to have. He is so excited already, and I already know how close he is going to feel with my new friends. I am grateful for this trip.
Then I came home and worked on the computer and Iphone, trying to get it cleared up. I was having problems with it and my computer kept shutting down, no internet. It was a crazy day with technology for me.
Gotta go ~ Namaste ~
So, I woke up today tired and in pain again. That energy at 6 am seems to have gone for now. I showered early though because I had a mission today. To get my new soul sister a smart phone. My new friend from Chicago does not have a phone she can text on, or take pictures on, or go on Face Book on. So, the other day I thought of finding out what it would cost to add another line to my phone and it was only $40. So, I decided to buy a new phone for me, and send her my old phone. She is going to go crazy. She already explained how she can't believe how anyone would love her so much to do that for her. She expresses her love to me every day, on Face Book. We have been on Skype together and it's awesome. Now we will be able to Face Time together.
It's really important for the people that bond at Teal Swan's Workshop to stay in touch so we can keep supporting each other and help each other work on ourselves. That's what we do and I am so grateful for her, she has been a large part of my strength. I can't wait until she receives it, I will send it out tomorrow, along with some crystals, and a crystal book I have that she would love. She did not have any crystals, but bought some at the Chicago Workshop. She was so excited because one of the roomies there was a crystal guru. He knew so much and even brought a huge crystal with him to put by Teal on the stage. I love them, they talk to us, want to help guide us, and bring so much information to us, if we just let them in. He brought back a new love of crystals for me, and I am grateful for that.
I went to see my son at work today because my computer wasn't working well. I tried to download a program last night to be involved with a google chat and it fell apart. It added programs,viruses, etc and took me hours to try to fix but couldn't. So my son worked on it today. Then we went to the mall to hang out, eat, and buy a cover for the two cell phones. My eye went straight to the light pink case for myself, and the purple for my friend. Purple is for your third eye, to enhance your spiritual abilities. She is so going to love it. I can't wait.
I had an awesome time with my son, we talked a lot about going to Boston and the fun we are going to have. He is so excited already, and I already know how close he is going to feel with my new friends. I am grateful for this trip.
Then I came home and worked on the computer and Iphone, trying to get it cleared up. I was having problems with it and my computer kept shutting down, no internet. It was a crazy day with technology for me.
Gotta go ~ Namaste ~
Day 6 ~ Post Teal Swan's Workshop
Hello
I woke up feeling really tired and in alot of pain. Wondering why? Hmm, I will have to figure it out. Could it be because I ran around yesterday and did too much? Could it be the energy I picked up? Could it be my daughters attitude toward me? Hmmm, it will come to me I know, maybe it is all of it! So, I stayed home today. I have been truly enjoying my time hanging around the house! It's finally summer! I have nice plants in the backyard with a nice gazebo tent over my table. It's so quiet and serene I love it. I take my computer out and do some research I have wanted to do. It is a nice relaxing day, I am taking it easy due to my pain, just like Teal has suggested. Wow, it's still pretty crazy what happened. How I went on stage and asked her some deep emotional help. And what she said was crazy!
I watched the video again, and cried my eyes out so depressed. She told me I pretty much had to change my life drastically, and that's okay. I quit my job already, and feel awesome not having to take care of the four children. I am taking that energy and focusing on myself, and my soul is loving it! The other part of changing my life is living with my daughters. They have wanted to move out over a year and a half ago, and are still home due to finances. My eldest would have graduated five years ago, and did not have the opportunity to go away to College. They truly need to move on their journey and spread their wings, I feel their sadness more now than ever before! I love them and want the best for them, and we will manifest a way for them to get their own place.
For me, I may stay where I am and find some other woman that I know that would love to live together, other woman I know that respect Teal Swan as I do, and know of her. Their are a few I already have in my head, we will see what happens. I am going to Boston in August, and will see what happens then! I put the intent out, there it goes, thanks! It feels great already! I will tell you the more you go inside yourself, inside your heart to see what's going on there and how you feel, the easier it becomes. Then it just start flowing so easily, I love it, this is new for me!
Teal also said I was a slave driver and a victim my entire life, which I am changing now. No more slave driver for me, time to care for myself! She even said what I have been doing to myself was a form of self abuse! Wow, how sad, I haven't been very good to myself. I am so thrilled I am learning how to care for myself more and more each and every day!
Namaste
Carol
I woke up feeling really tired and in alot of pain. Wondering why? Hmm, I will have to figure it out. Could it be because I ran around yesterday and did too much? Could it be the energy I picked up? Could it be my daughters attitude toward me? Hmmm, it will come to me I know, maybe it is all of it! So, I stayed home today. I have been truly enjoying my time hanging around the house! It's finally summer! I have nice plants in the backyard with a nice gazebo tent over my table. It's so quiet and serene I love it. I take my computer out and do some research I have wanted to do. It is a nice relaxing day, I am taking it easy due to my pain, just like Teal has suggested. Wow, it's still pretty crazy what happened. How I went on stage and asked her some deep emotional help. And what she said was crazy!
I watched the video again, and cried my eyes out so depressed. She told me I pretty much had to change my life drastically, and that's okay. I quit my job already, and feel awesome not having to take care of the four children. I am taking that energy and focusing on myself, and my soul is loving it! The other part of changing my life is living with my daughters. They have wanted to move out over a year and a half ago, and are still home due to finances. My eldest would have graduated five years ago, and did not have the opportunity to go away to College. They truly need to move on their journey and spread their wings, I feel their sadness more now than ever before! I love them and want the best for them, and we will manifest a way for them to get their own place.
For me, I may stay where I am and find some other woman that I know that would love to live together, other woman I know that respect Teal Swan as I do, and know of her. Their are a few I already have in my head, we will see what happens. I am going to Boston in August, and will see what happens then! I put the intent out, there it goes, thanks! It feels great already! I will tell you the more you go inside yourself, inside your heart to see what's going on there and how you feel, the easier it becomes. Then it just start flowing so easily, I love it, this is new for me!
Teal also said I was a slave driver and a victim my entire life, which I am changing now. No more slave driver for me, time to care for myself! She even said what I have been doing to myself was a form of self abuse! Wow, how sad, I haven't been very good to myself. I am so thrilled I am learning how to care for myself more and more each and every day!
Namaste
Carol
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