Hello
So, my day went well today. I have such different feelings at nighttime, so much to reflect on as the day appears unto itself. I bumped into my daughter, son, his friend, and their sister from their Dad with his new wife while I was out today. It was pretty funny bumping into them at the local farmers market. I love that little girl, she is so sweet and so special, I feel it all over when I look at her. Such a blessing in disguise for all of them in that house. My ex is in his fifties, so a one year old can be a challenge to care for at that age. But, he is the one who helped give birth to her, and she has come to teach him so many things about life and love. And in the meantime, I want to take her and eat her up! I engaged in conversation with her, she was quiet. Then when they were leaving I asked her to blow me a kiss, and she nodded her head "no". Oh my.
I am also feeling grateful I can stay home awhile, and not work being a nanny, giving so much to others and not to myself first. I do not know why I feel it drains me, how I allow this to happen to myself, but I do. It feels nice to not have to worry about anyone, anymore, only me. Yay, and now I am enjoying it instead of fearing it. At first, I feared being alone, having to worry about myself because I have always had others to take care of. I actually didn't even want to worry about myself. Now I know why, a lot of past pain and trauma from childhood that I am currently releasing. It seems that when we have any childhood pain, we are not whole until we go back to that child, feel that pain, and comfort it. It's like your soul busts into pieces because the pain is too much to bear, and leaves us. Now, the trick is finding those lost pieces, bringing them back home inside your heart and integrating them into the now. I now see the glory of God in my own heart, I see I am Source Energy, I see how much the Universe loves me and wants me to become whole. To become whole with those lost parts from childhood, integrating them into the now. Wow, I didn't even understand this before I went to Teal Swan's Workshop in Chicago. Look at how I have grown already in the past two weeks, and since Atlanta in February, and since Tarrytown in August. Each and everyone of Teal Swan's workshops has changed me tremendously. Each one I came home with this super high energy, like I am flying high on life and love.
Each workshop I create beautiful, loving, new/old soulmates, and I come back with my heart wide open when I didn't even realize how closed it was. Yes, life still has it's ups and downs, but I can glide through them more smoothly, always coming back to a state of peace for now. I like this new me, I like who I am becoming, and I love my soul family I have finally found again! I thank the Universe and all of you, for finding me!
Namaste ~
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